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ejh

Member Since 2003

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Tuesday May 04, 2004

May 3, 2004
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sorry if i was vague, my friends. i was at a loss for words. but so people aren't in the unknown, here's the scoop:
i broke up with my lady of two and a half years and it has been devastating. she has changed and has chosen to do different things with her life that i chose not to take part in. it absolutely kills me how cold blooded she became when i told her i could not live the life we had together anymore. her family took it upon themselves to make my life hell when i was honest and polite the whole time. i got kicked out of my own apartment and was couch surfing for a while and damn near flunked out of school this term. i am crushed i had to do this and still have no idea how she feels because she has not talked to me much. i think her mother has really influenced her and has convinced her not to divulge anything to me. i left her a 3 page letter after i finally got all of my things moved out and i still have not heard a word. crushed.
i have put myself into my band 100% as that is pretty much all i have left. we are working on this recording and i have damn near killed myself just getting the guitar parts down. rock and roll is saving my life because without it, i have no idea where i would be. my friends are my family and are at my side, always.
i'm a fucking mess lately and hopefully, i can move on with as little drama as possible. i love her to death, but i do not want her to change for the sake of me, only herself, and i would never ask anyone to change for me EVER. the person she is now is not the kind of person i can spend the rest of my life with, so i must move on. no one said it would be easy. in fact, its fucking tough, tougher than i could have ever imagined. but i try to keep my spirits up and look forward to tomorrow. i have many shows to play, a recording to finish, a trip to DC in 3 weeks and a summer tour in the works.

to my friends on the site here: thank you for the words. it means the world to me.

i think this is the most i have ever typed in my little journal. hope it clears it up. its off of my chest now. phew.

on a completely different note, a girl talked to me at school today and i was like a deer in headlights. probably a good thing. i am damaged.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
dr_ew:
You got a beer on me I don't know were or when but next time I see you beer on me, thats finale.
May 4, 2004
muller:
It was funny you asked because after that I went home and hooked the PT system up at the house and last night a friend came over in need of a quick mastering job. I mastered the new Cliftons record in about 5 hours, give or take a few beers.
May 4, 2004

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