Why do relationships end up being so freaking awkward! Almost three years, and shes still not sure what she wants. All I want from the person I love is for them to want me as well. She tells me that she often feels that the things she wants to do, seem to be in opposition to our relationship. Whether its knitting, or joining the peace corps, she feels that shes giving up the things she wants in order to not hurt my feelings.
I know this means Im sending some weird signals for sure. But Im unsettled that she feels that its an either or, because when its either a relationship or personal happiness, personal happiness will always (and should) win out. Its not that I want her to be unhappy, but that I would like the relationship and happiness to go side by side. I know that relationships require a lot of compromise, but shes asking too much of herself.
Sometimes it makes me want to scream. I feel like shes trying to keep her own single life and a life with me and ends up doing both of them poorly. Shes obviously not happy with her life right now, most of which is work, she hates her job. But, shes also not quite happy with me because most of the options shes looking at would put tremendous strains on our relationship.
I know this means Im sending some weird signals for sure. But Im unsettled that she feels that its an either or, because when its either a relationship or personal happiness, personal happiness will always (and should) win out. Its not that I want her to be unhappy, but that I would like the relationship and happiness to go side by side. I know that relationships require a lot of compromise, but shes asking too much of herself.
Sometimes it makes me want to scream. I feel like shes trying to keep her own single life and a life with me and ends up doing both of them poorly. Shes obviously not happy with her life right now, most of which is work, she hates her job. But, shes also not quite happy with me because most of the options shes looking at would put tremendous strains on our relationship.
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she has nothing to lose.. except guilt. and if she doesnt do these things "because of you" then she'll just harbor resentment toward you for holding her back which wont be good ten years down the road when she hates her life and what she hasnt accomplished and dumps that weight on your shoulders.
and if she is difficult and refuses to go than its not really you.. she may just be afraid to take these leaps and using you as a scapegoat. in which case stick up for yourself, put her in her place.
slap her silly till she learns to be happy or content.
i want to say i have faith that it will all work out smoothly. unfortunately i cant make promises when humans are involved. ive learned i know nothing about humans.
**hugs
she has nothing to lose.. except guilt. and if she doesnt do these things "because of you" then she'll just harbor resentment toward you for holding her back which wont be good ten years down the road when she hates her life and what she hasnt accomplished and dumps that weight on your shoulders.
and if she is difficult and refuses to go than its not really you.. she may just be afraid to take these leaps and using you as a scapegoat. in which case stick up for yourself, put her in her place.
slap her silly till she learns to be happy or content.
i want to say i have faith that it will all work out smoothly. unfortunately i cant make promises when humans are involved. ive learned i know nothing about humans.
**hugs