Ive realized that Im not content with my life and its direction. Ive been in this spot before and know that it will pass, and its usually moved to something pretty good. What Im concerned about, is I tend to make big changes o correct any problems. This time, I want to find more subtle means of change.
When a big change is made, everything...
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When a big change is made, everything...
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I know that everyones family is f&@# up a bit, some worse than others. Mine really isnt so bad, but it does take some hard turns sometimes. Ijust found out that my Dad is filling a lawsuit with against my mom for the second time (he dropped the first one 3 years ago). Neither of them want to get me involved, so they wont go...
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soft_shoulder:
ouch. if they dont want to get you involved it sounds like youre not forced to choose sides, which under the circumstances would be impossible.
i will attempt to not drop of the face of the earth this time.
happy belated birthday! hello to jess!
i will attempt to not drop of the face of the earth this time.
happy belated birthday! hello to jess!
sometimes life just sucks
Why do relationships end up being so freaking awkward! Almost three years, and shes still not sure what she wants. All I want from the person I love is for them to want me as well. She tells me that she often feels that the things she wants to do, seem to be in opposition to our relationship. Whether its knitting, or joining the peace...
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soft_shoulder:
if she REALLY seriously wants these other things and believe they will make her happy tell her to stop making up excuses (including you as an excuse) and just go out and do it. if it fails you'll still love her, if it succeeds you'll still love her.
she has nothing to lose.. except guilt. and if she doesnt do these things "because of you" then she'll just harbor resentment toward you for holding her back which wont be good ten years down the road when she hates her life and what she hasnt accomplished and dumps that weight on your shoulders.
and if she is difficult and refuses to go than its not really you.. she may just be afraid to take these leaps and using you as a scapegoat. in which case stick up for yourself, put her in her place.
slap her silly till she learns to be happy or content.
i want to say i have faith that it will all work out smoothly. unfortunately i cant make promises when humans are involved. ive learned i know nothing about humans.
**hugs
she has nothing to lose.. except guilt. and if she doesnt do these things "because of you" then she'll just harbor resentment toward you for holding her back which wont be good ten years down the road when she hates her life and what she hasnt accomplished and dumps that weight on your shoulders.
and if she is difficult and refuses to go than its not really you.. she may just be afraid to take these leaps and using you as a scapegoat. in which case stick up for yourself, put her in her place.
slap her silly till she learns to be happy or content.
i want to say i have faith that it will all work out smoothly. unfortunately i cant make promises when humans are involved. ive learned i know nothing about humans.
**hugs
soft_shoulder:
if she REALLY seriously wants these other things and believe they will make her happy tell her to stop making up excuses (including you as an excuse) and just go out and do it. if it fails you'll still love her, if it succeeds you'll still love her.
she has nothing to lose.. except guilt. and if she doesnt do these things "because of you" then she'll just harbor resentment toward you for holding her back which wont be good ten years down the road when she hates her life and what she hasnt accomplished and dumps that weight on your shoulders.
and if she is difficult and refuses to go than its not really you.. she may just be afraid to take these leaps and using you as a scapegoat. in which case stick up for yourself, put her in her place.
slap her silly till she learns to be happy or content.
i want to say i have faith that it will all work out smoothly. unfortunately i cant make promises when humans are involved. ive learned i know nothing about humans.
**hugs
she has nothing to lose.. except guilt. and if she doesnt do these things "because of you" then she'll just harbor resentment toward you for holding her back which wont be good ten years down the road when she hates her life and what she hasnt accomplished and dumps that weight on your shoulders.
and if she is difficult and refuses to go than its not really you.. she may just be afraid to take these leaps and using you as a scapegoat. in which case stick up for yourself, put her in her place.
slap her silly till she learns to be happy or content.
i want to say i have faith that it will all work out smoothly. unfortunately i cant make promises when humans are involved. ive learned i know nothing about humans.
**hugs
Less than a week till Im done with finals, and on a plane to Vegas (?!). Actually I cant stand the city, but theres phenomenal climbing just north of town and I got a free plane ticket and a friend has a time share I can use for free. So, Im going.
Note to self: Must find job when I get back. ASAP.
Note to self: Must find job when I get back. ASAP.
severus:
I will check it out, thanks.
How come tears and anger can feel so similar?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
severus:
Well, I do need computers for what I do. Also to get inspiration, build my webpage, make money, sell prints, get new music, keep up with friends. So, the thing is though how to handle the time that's not effective when it comes to computers. I don't have an internet personality really, it's just me. So I don't have a problem with that. Some friens of mine quit communities because they were having some kind of alter ego. I don't.
severus:
I do think we are losing some important things with computers, yes but it depends on yourself. It's tricky. Don't you think? They are really a great toy to get contacts, work, support, help, art, but... it can become too passive too. It's fucking tricky.
[Edited on Apr 28, 2006 4:41PM]
[Edited on Apr 28, 2006 4:41PM]
Its come time that I offer my troubles to cyberspace, because they bother me too much inside, and I have no one within reach to share them with.
I can finally admit a year and a half after closing my coffee house that Im burnt out. Spent. Wondering if Ill ever muster the energy to do more than get by, resigned to a comfortable mediocrity....
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I can finally admit a year and a half after closing my coffee house that Im burnt out. Spent. Wondering if Ill ever muster the energy to do more than get by, resigned to a comfortable mediocrity....
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soft_shoulder:
perhaps a change of homespace... flee
some days you just feel useless.......
Sometimes, life feels to be in auto pilot. Nothings wrong, things only feel not quite right. Regardless you cant seem to get to the controls. Youve become a passive observer in you own life for an indefinite amount of time, like having a cold, you know it will end, but how long will it take?
It reminds me of a recurring dream I have not...
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It reminds me of a recurring dream I have not...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
severus:
yes.. hopefully it will melt away soooon.
magneticflux:
It's called "determinism", my friend 
You arent at the helm, yet you can still sit back and enjoy the ride.
That's the best dream with cybernetic instability as its content that I've ever heard of.
I never really regarded it as passive observerism though. Even if this "I" isn't "in control", you will still ending up doing things regardless of the ultimate locus of causation. Body,brain,mind acts and consciouness is the informant,often quite literally after the fact, in real time.
[Edited on Apr 06, 2006 1:53AM]
You arent at the helm, yet you can still sit back and enjoy the ride.
That's the best dream with cybernetic instability as its content that I've ever heard of.
I never really regarded it as passive observerism though. Even if this "I" isn't "in control", you will still ending up doing things regardless of the ultimate locus of causation. Body,brain,mind acts and consciouness is the informant,often quite literally after the fact, in real time.
[Edited on Apr 06, 2006 1:53AM]
Algebra is driving me NUCKING FUTZ! I'm doing so well in every class I've taken. A 4.0 across the board for 3 semesters, and now that I've decide to go to grad school I have to learn calculus, but to do so I've got to relearn the basics. Now I'm reminded why I didn't take ANY math for my first degree.
It's hit a point...
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It's hit a point...
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thefox:
You're right! They do look alike, my Nukie and your Amica. 
Mine is a husky/shepherd mix... and yours?
Thanks for the comment - and it's been my experience that algebra sucks for a lot of people, especially people who liked geometry (though, it sounds like you avoided that, too.) Wish I could help, but I've forgotten most of it, myself.
Mine is a husky/shepherd mix... and yours?
Thanks for the comment - and it's been my experience that algebra sucks for a lot of people, especially people who liked geometry (though, it sounds like you avoided that, too.) Wish I could help, but I've forgotten most of it, myself.
mike11:
Your in. Welcome to the group.
Im curious if any language is capable of capturing the subtle dynamic of human experience, to the effect of you and I being able to communicate more than on the surface. Even though we speak the same language, our images of the world are so different, often to the extent that we walk away from a conversation feeling that no understanding was achieved.
As Ive...
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As Ive...
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soft_shoulder:
i wonder who claimed we have no nouns.....
waboose - rabbit
waboose - rabbit
Its really amazing how much time can slip by when looking at so many beautiful women, and reading so many candid journals exposed to strangers. I do have things I should be doing with my time, but its easy to get lured in.and forget.
Just after Christmas I took off to visit friends and family. Really it was just a climbing trip to Arizona and...
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Just after Christmas I took off to visit friends and family. Really it was just a climbing trip to Arizona and...
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kallisti:
I was actually JUST about to change my journal entry to be something not quite so mopey. lol.. "this too shall pass"
jstone:
man the season here has been BRUTAL.. just gross. way to warm for any ice, the avalanche hazard has been huge, and the rain.... oh the rain.... so what how do you climb, sport, trad, boulder.. aid?
and climbing should always be a dominant force in your life, it gives perspective
and climbing should always be a dominant force in your life, it gives perspective