Hmmmm.
So I'm about to pursue a faith-healer.
In other news, I have no new set. Well, I did. I mean, I shot one, but settishness = r3j3ct3d.
And now I'm 78 pounds, who the fuck wants to look at that, right?
I seem to have neglected this thing because the news just keeps getting worse. So I think I'm going to stop trying to update with anything personal. I mean, I've lost all creativity, I can barely concentrate anymore, and I cannot think of writing or reading or dreaming or....anything besides feeling awful and being very, very scared.
So. I think I'll just start posting old things. From back in the day when I could dream and be and all those far-away things I can't concieve of anymore.
I'd love to do another set someday, but unless someone can photoshop out my pointy bones.....that's so not going to happen. Well, that and I'm so agoraphobic now I can't really leave my house.
Random crap unrelated to anything horrible that's been happening:
1. My cat has decided that she likes to carry socks around, making the most ungodly noises---they sound almost human. It's almost as if she thinks they are her kittens. Well, until she drops them and forgets about them entirely. It's creepy, but cute.
2. Explaining celibacy to coworkers is kind of fun. For about five minutes, anyway.
3. I might possibly be putting my Harry Potter obsession and my fannish nerdskills to some use. It might even (possibly) make money. Which would come in handy with the jhgkhdglkhdsl medical expenses at the moment.
4. I'm stretching, here. I don't want this to turn into a rant, or a whine. I've not posted on LJ in ....forever, and I seem to ignore my phone/myspace & email. I've forgotten how to bullshit. And I'm too self conscious and non confrontational to even tell people what's really going on. I've also lost the ability to make jokes about it, because I'm just, well, tired.
If this healer doesn't pan out, and the temple is a bust....and this last round of steroids doesn't do something, anything, I'm done. Peace out.
So I'm about to pursue a faith-healer.
In other news, I have no new set. Well, I did. I mean, I shot one, but settishness = r3j3ct3d.
And now I'm 78 pounds, who the fuck wants to look at that, right?
I seem to have neglected this thing because the news just keeps getting worse. So I think I'm going to stop trying to update with anything personal. I mean, I've lost all creativity, I can barely concentrate anymore, and I cannot think of writing or reading or dreaming or....anything besides feeling awful and being very, very scared.
So. I think I'll just start posting old things. From back in the day when I could dream and be and all those far-away things I can't concieve of anymore.
I'd love to do another set someday, but unless someone can photoshop out my pointy bones.....that's so not going to happen. Well, that and I'm so agoraphobic now I can't really leave my house.
Random crap unrelated to anything horrible that's been happening:
1. My cat has decided that she likes to carry socks around, making the most ungodly noises---they sound almost human. It's almost as if she thinks they are her kittens. Well, until she drops them and forgets about them entirely. It's creepy, but cute.
2. Explaining celibacy to coworkers is kind of fun. For about five minutes, anyway.
3. I might possibly be putting my Harry Potter obsession and my fannish nerdskills to some use. It might even (possibly) make money. Which would come in handy with the jhgkhdglkhdsl medical expenses at the moment.
4. I'm stretching, here. I don't want this to turn into a rant, or a whine. I've not posted on LJ in ....forever, and I seem to ignore my phone/myspace & email. I've forgotten how to bullshit. And I'm too self conscious and non confrontational to even tell people what's really going on. I've also lost the ability to make jokes about it, because I'm just, well, tired.
If this healer doesn't pan out, and the temple is a bust....and this last round of steroids doesn't do something, anything, I'm done. Peace out.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I wish you luck. There must be something that can be done. Hang in there.