eireann

Week In Review:

Monday- I wake up and notice that for the fourth straight day in a row there are massive amounts of kitty puke. At least on Monday he was courteous enough to throw it up into his food dish, thereby eliminating the need for carpet stain remover. Note to self; find an excuse to rid self of cream carpet soon. Make appointment for Tuesday at the vet.
Tuesday; work until 2, take cat to vet at 3. Arrive home to more puke. Lock cat up in kitty prison, a.k.a kitty carrier and listen to him meow the five minutes to the vet. Vet agrees with me, tells Nick to shut his trap and that it serious. I win arguments frequently. Vet thinks cat is allergic to food, prescribes fancy food for him. He subsequently refuses to eat it without the old food and refuses to do any business normally involving the litterbox. Pukes multiple times and is campaigning to be let out of quarantine.
Wednesday- Convince Nick to take cat to vet while I work a 12 hour day. Cat begins to consume my life rather than enrich it. They take x-rays; cat has a blockage in his lower intestine and all of the sudden our lives begin to revolve around whether or not my cat takes a shit. Pump cat full of laxatives; go to my sister's 21st birthday party; come home; find cat has broken out of his quarantine room and is playing with the other cat. He promptly pukes but refuses to poop. Dr. says if he doesn't take a shit by Friday we may have to do surgery. Decide to go have a cigarette after this news and am interrupted from my serenity by an 8 month pregnant girl smoking in the break room. When I say, quite shocked, "you're smoking??!?!?!?" she responds, "you're smoking, she's smoking, this is the smoking break room." and I respond, "no one else is 8 months pregnant." She then informs me I would be a bad mother because I love my cat too much. I am amused at the stoner logic.
Thursday- I stress about lack of cat poop all day. Sadly, I've never been in a situation where an animal refused to take a shit- normally the problem is what they are shitting on. Nevertheless, the cat has my stubborn streak, and refuses to shit.
Friday- Work a 12 hour day wondering if my cat remembers how to squeeze poop out. Resolve that if he doesn't I will teach him lamaze so he can deliver a weeks worth of poop. Greeted by a text message stating, "we have poop. taking him to the vet anyways." Vet says he needs more laxatives; we gladly comply. A cat that shits is a happy cat. Driving home I receive a phone call from my mother that my great aunt has passed away 43 days before her 100th birthday.
Saturday- work again. Endure a phone call in which my Aunt calls me to inform me of funeral arrangements but cannot supply me with a time, a name of the funeral home, or an address and babbles on about how she's lost my phone number that she just called me on. Lecture 8 month pregnant girl on why she should not smoke while pregnant after she smokes in the smoking break room again. Am asked out by a man 41 years my senior. Professionalism forces me to stifle my laughter until he leaves. Come home to tell my cat to take a nice healthy poop. Take a nice long bath....
now for the party...