eireann

So, lets boil it down to this:
I'm happy, but I'm not.
I'm over it, but I'm not.
I'm good being single, but I'm not.
I don't know what the hell I am.
All I know is... I miss him, but I want to move on. And then I don't want to move on because I have this delusional hope that he'll want to come back, partly over my own arrogance in thinking I'm a pretty good catch.
And then I'm sad. I'm sad because I want to move on when I still feel like part of me is missing. I still feel like he has my heart, and my soul, and all of me forever.
So... I'm happy, but I'm not.
I'm lonely. And then I'm not.
I'm sad, and I'm not.

What it boils down to is... I don't know what I want, or when I want it, or who I want it from. I don't know how I feel about the whole thing. He said he wanted to be friends... and then I hear nothing from him for a week. I don't know. I just don't know. Should I look at this as an opportunity to date someone who has a college degree, a steady, well-paying job? Or should I wait around for "some kid" who I think is geniuinely the love of my life?
Oh, fuck it all. I'll just hide in my room until Prince Charming comes to rescue me from my tower that this spell has kept me in...