eireann

these nights overwhelm my sense of security with a distaste for serenity
eleven days
12 nights
dreaming of a place I cannot be in a heart I cannot find
and your apathy overwhelms me with a desire for passions that never tire
I
will
never
find you.
at what cost can i find the lost and what price must I pay for the lives that haunt me
in nightmares so vivid.
I
never
sleep.
I miss the light that used to lead me down paths unseen throughout the realities of my own fantasy
instead I will fall into the inadequacy of insecurity and
drown without screaming
fall with out trying to catch myself
and live like the answers once existed.
I wish for the warmth of arms that have long grown cold in the sweet blue mask of your own answers.
I will never wake from this nightmare
of cold nights and black cats and foggy rainfall
selflessness of another will never find me
and I will sink into my own destruction from the criticism that has been so freely given
of backstabbing answers and I will learn to play
the games of my nightmares.