Hey everyone,
I just wanted to say thank you for all of those who helped me over the last 5-6 years I have been on this site. This website, community has been invaluable and I really mean that. I often wondered where I would be in 5 years from when I was really struggling with depression, suicide and life in general.
I'm certainly happy that I'm still around and no longer depressed despite the crazy ride my last 5 years has been and yet I'm determined to keep moving forward. There have been many ups and downs over the last 5 years and I'm more than willing to share my story.
For those who are still struggling, please know that things do get better and I'm an example of that. I have h.ad my fair share of health issues, pain issues, major health issues and a connective tissue disorder that lashes out at random parts in my body as I age. I have gone through an amazing relationship only to have it taken away from me within the last year. Death is never easy to deal with and even more so when the person you love dies slowly and you're looking after them, taking care of them and slowly watching them waste away...
I have been through all of these experiences and despite it all, I will continue moving forward because life has taught me a great deal in these last 5 years. Life isn't always fair and sadly, its what we make of our lives that will ultimately lives. The decisions we make, the goals we set for ourselves will make us the person we are today.
The love of my life that I met in college passed away over a year ago and from a terminal illness. I never thought I would have to witness such a thing and while I was given a chance to leave the relationship early on due to her illness, I chose to stay because I loved her. I didn't care about her terminal illness because I'm not the type of person to run away. I chose to stay and make her happy and I could't of been happier with my choice. She was happy at the end and I'm content with that and I know I'll always miss her but she had the fortitude to realize she wouldn't be around and that she wanted me to be happy and to move on in life and I'm honoring her wishes of moving on.
It's been a strange year but it has opened my eyes to new experiences, it has made me appreciate how short life can be and how wonderful life can be. The best advise I can offer is to never take things for granted because you never know if something can change drastically over night. Things do happen and they let you down, be a disappointment and you can scream, cry and curse the world!
However, please know things do get better and as you continue to grow, age and experience new things in life, whether they are good or bad things. They will certainly continue to shape, make you stronger and in pack your life in ways you have not experienced before. They certainly have for me and I don't regret anything over these past 5 years.
Thank you for reading my blog, I will most likely edit this and make some changes but I wanted to express how things have been going on for me personally.
Sincerely,
Jon
