eighdrien

So this is the first time in almost a year that I've actually felt strongly for somebody. I tend to be wa-h-h-haaaaay over-analytical about things. 'Specially when it comes to relationships of any kind.

A's quite a bit older than me... I don't care, and as far as I know she doesn't care that I'm younger, but I still get kind of freaked out when I don't hear from her in what I've deemed a "normal" amount of time in my head. I'm scared that she'll stop liking me before I even have a chance to get to know her well enough.

It doesn't help that she has a real job, and therefore is at work every weekday, and our schedules generally clash until we may have free time on the same night once a week. Mostly now we have to communicate through quick text messages and facebook. I'm really not a big phone conversationalist.

Despite all of my stupid worrying, I am so thankful that I even have a relationship to be complaining about. I've always been the awkward third wheel, and the girl who grew up believing I'd be alone forever.
A's the first girl I've been with and it's amazing that I can accept that she likes me. you know? That used to be my biggest issue and a major source of paranoia for me -- for a long, long time I just couldn't believe that anyone would find me attractive.

I need a hug.