eidolon

I'm really sick of looking at the last update. Dwelling on the pact made between necessity and negativity isn't something in which I have any interest.

Both within and in spite of the demands of unwelcome decisions, I've found happiness. Sudden, overwhelming happiness. It's been some time since I've been consumed by that kind of happiness, and it's made me think about my world and my goals with new clarity and light.

It's hit like a wrecking ball and has changed my stance. Nothing could have made me duck. I knew this was a hit I wanted to take. A hit I've waited to take. The ball swings hard, yet I hold fast. Impact both welcome and indellible. This one's gonna leave marks.

In the few years since I left Vermont, I've been able to see a longer view of my life. There have been successes and failures, but it's all been in the name of clear thought and vision. A contentment with being a work in progress. As long as it's progress, it's what I'm looking for. The day I look myself in the eye and see completion is the day I know that I'm already dead.

I've had a visit from an old friend - wonderful man. He's gonna do good things for the world we all live in, for all of us, for those we love and depend on, and he'll do it with modesty. Rare.

I've seen another friend decide to physically move his life for the sake of growing within his art. On one level, I'll miss him. No question. My own feelings simply take a back seat. I'm proud of the man. He's taken a leap of faith - walking away from places and people he loves in the name of furthering his own development. My missing of the day-to-day is nothing short of petty when juxtapozed against what he wants and what I know he'll find for himself.

I've had spiritual and emotional revelations of my own. Goals, visions and dreams exist in a world they've never known. I've been able to open-up and expose parts of myself while standing with confidence and conviction. No longer flailing in desperation, clutching at straws. It's something that's been less a challenge than a clear, stark view of my own abject truth. Something that is impossible to deny. My life has been graced with a beauty I never dared to know.

The horizon awaits.
The pedal is down.
8 cylinders roaring toward one future.



Updated!
I don't think I'll be changing this entry in the immediate future. Unlike the last one, I like looking at this one. Updates are available by request on a case by case basis.

New bullett points include:
-Vinyasa yoga.
-Continued aging.
-An endlessly extatic heart and mind.