eidolon

My heart is all tied in knots. It doesn't feel quite as nice as it sounds, either. My x is back in the same destructive relationship she goes back to each and every time she feels lost and alone. He's one of these furry, toothless, insecure guys who waits until she's in a low or weakened position (this time, she just had surgery) and swoops...
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Today, the reflection of my life that greets me in the mirror is a little too vivid. Those days happen. I'm really feeling for my mom today, because, for her, its not just Mother's Day. Today is also my dad's birthday. Every other year, that has been a day for relaxation, decadence and merriment. This year, things are different because my dad died suddenly last...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS

cruelty:

Hey - Thanks for at least responding to my post. It was cool. There is a waitress that I'm pretty infatuated with that was working tonight, and after her shift she bought me a drink and we chatted for a while. God, she would be a BEAUTIFUL addition to this site.
ANYWAY, how would you feel about me asking you to be a reference for the SG Chicago group?? I know you hardly know me and all, but I'm a decent guy who would love to chat w/ some local people on this site. Something to think about...

Cheers

Jul 9, 2004

fdnymedic:

hey bro...thanks...nice to meet ya

Jul 20, 2004

you may have to go back and read the last journal entry to get all of the backstory here.

i feel like i've lived 200 lifetimes in the 9 days since i posted the letter from the previous post. given the last trauma-induced entry, i feel as though there must be a follow-up. like i said, that was about 200 lifetimes ago.

so, it appears...
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twwly:

Our healthcare might be paid for, but that doesn't mean it's quality.

Apr 1, 2004

nic:

Wow, that sounds like a lot of dramatics in a very short space of time! I hope you and your ladyfriend can patch things up properly, and that thug gets eaten by a lion.

Thankyou very much for what you wrote in my journal. It made me feel a lot better.
In a way, I can rationalize Jon's death because he was always an adventurer, and death is supposed to be the big unknown adventure for us all. If anyone was equipped to explore the unknown, its him.

Fucker is probably paddling his canoe up the River Styx as we speak.

Apr 28, 2004

today, my girlsriend's x called her out of nowhere and proposed to her. she said yes. you know those moments where you just wish you could get angry, but for whatever reason you can't..... actually loving someone is a bitch, eh? i wrote her this a couple of hours after she told me.

imagine us - someplace sunny and warm, leaning gently into our quiet...
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ivy:

Jesus. You put it all beautifully, but your girl is an asshole.

Mar 24, 2004

audio:

you have a great understanding of the human state i think.

and as for what ivy said, i for one don't know her but i do know enough not to judge.

i will say that you're stronger than most.

so.

how was saturday then?

Mar 31, 2004

today, my girlsriend's x called her out of nowhere and proposed to her. she said yes. you know those moments where you just wish you could get angry, but for whatever reason you can't..... actually loving someone is a bitch, eh? i wrote her this a couple of hours after she told me.

imagine us - someplace sunny and warm, leaning gently into our quiet...
Read More

today, my girlsriend's x called her out of nowhere and proposed to her. she said yes. you know those moments where you just wish you could get angry, but for whatever reason you can't..... actually loving someone is a bitch, eh?

imagine us - someplace sunny and warm, leaning gently into our quiet embrace and speaking, with soft honesty, the words that we must.

so,...
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if anyone has an opportunity to see the neo futurists in chicago (i think there's an nyc group, too) i highly reccomend it. they do a show called 'too much light makes the baby go blind.' its beautiful, democratic theater where the group attempts to perform 30 plays in 60 minutes -daunting, to be sure. the audience decides the order of the plays, and much...
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indigoboy:

Your comments about the amount of CD's/Vinyl you own made me feel as if I had found a kindred spirit.
I am also in music retail (have been for years) and own a ridiculous amount of music.
Woot!

Mar 22, 2004

so
1 entry and 1 comment. not too shabby. comment from twwly, no less.
ani llama = ani difranco
a name used rarely, but i like it. somthing in the way her wit and conscience battle for your affections makes her totally irresistable to me. i've been listening for over a decade, so i must be hooked. what can i say, i'm a shameless fan....
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS

twwly:

I don't think cities are for people.

Mar 16, 2004

twwly:

Just read your first post in my journal....

Yeah - I bet you're a really neat REAL LIFE person...

Mar 16, 2004

I've never kept a journal in private, semi-private or public life. That said, it appears that this is indeed, as the Ani Llama said, my next bold move.
Lets start with the middle.
A friend in Vermont has to put his dog to sleep today. They've been together for many years and all of us that know him are going to miss him terribly. The...
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twwly:

Ani Lama?

Feb 25, 2004