effigyofaltruism

The solace of someone's body next to mine, absorbing me in her heat every single night. Wow, that is starting to become a dwindling hope. *shrugs* I have come to the recent realization that I will simply stop looking heh. There is no reason to continue looking for something that will only hide itself even more as I continue searching. This is no way means I will affect the way I am with people. I am naturally affectionate...its part of my own culture. Latinos...well at least those I associate myself enjoy making people feel welcome. Hugs, kisses on the cheek, going out of their way to make people enjoy where they are. Over the years I have realized that there is some sort of selfless mechanism that turns on when someone new arrives into their lives and I thrive on it. I cant stand knowing people are not doing well, cant stand knowing that there might not be anything I can do about it. The torture of such knowledge bothers me at times but it just moves back and I am left to simply meditate afterward.

Women, well they are all beautiful in their own way. It is very much apparent on this site but that is another story. They all seem to enjoy me as a person/friend/buddy...whatever, but that is it. The proverbial excuse of friendship has been thrusted in my face too many times already and yet I do not care. It wont change how I feel about any of them. I will just continue to be myself, no matter if there is that small sting of pain within this complicated heart of mine. Wow I wrote alot today lol...its all your fault people. Hmm off to go eat myself something wholesome and chill with some Disturbed and Linkin Park.