eero

it's so cold in my house that when i pee i can't touch my penis with my frozen ass fingers or else it retracts and suddenly i have a vaginer.

which leads me to believe that the abominable snowman is in reality, an abominal snowbitch.

cause if that big ass yeti was a dude, he'd be all like, fuck this arctic shit, i'm moving to cali."

but he'd run out of money somewhere near oregon, and he'd just chill there as bigfoot. but after a while dude would all be like, "man, there's no bigfoot sluts around here for me to bigfuck." i bet he'd get sick of all the emo kids and the nonstop rain too.

so he's probably a pilot now. searching the planet for a chill place to live. stopping by to say hello to the loch ness monster, but leaving ASAP as he tries to come out of the closet to bigfoot. he'd want none of that, i mean, he's cool with it and all, but man, nessy's a whiny little bitch.

i can only imagine the great ass adventures that bigfoot would have. visiting the other, less rad, mythical creatures that may or may not inhabit this blue and green planet of ours...

he'd probably travel with a pet from that he'd pet and be all like, "coo, coo." cause he has a heart of gold.