I'm going through so many changes lately. As you can imagine with many changes comes a range of emotions. Lately I find myself on the opposite ends of the emotional rainbow. Sometimes I find myself feeling Violet, other times quite Red. When I'm out in the sun for too long, too much color can lead to sunburn. The same is true with my emotional rainbow. Too much of a strong color burns me.
If you knew me, you'd know that I was a quiet, nice, respectful, sensitive, soft-spoken person with simple needs and one who lives a simple life. I generally have high moral fiber but possess a very open mind. I can be stubborn or wide eyed as a kid on occasion and I'll be rational and logical like some green-blooded Vulcan on others. I'm very quiet and constantly thinking and analyzing life and all of its flavor. Sometimes I share with you what I taste here. The one thing you don't know about me is that I have deep anger inside of me.
Now don't get me wrong, I haven't struck a person since I was a kid back in 1990. But from time to time, I let people get to me. I keep that anger bottled up until I can release it through working out, writing, or some other creative release. It seems that even though I can usually vent my frustrations in life with very little fanfare, I'm quite skeptical that I'll be able to ever find inner peace. Why is this? It's because there are a lot of hurtful people in this world, and it seems like that pool will never be drained, hence the fires within me will never die.
In fact, my anger with disrespectful people grows. I'm hoping this continually fueled anger will fuel my creative abilities. I'm especially hoping that it inspires my writing to new levels.
As I type this the people who live down stairs from me are throwing ANOTHER party. There's people wooing, swearing, arguing and loud graphic music with thumping bass. Of course, I have to be up kinda early tomorrow, but they don't know that. As a matter of fact, I suspect that they could care less. I hate it when you live somewhere and then the rowdiest people around move in above, below or next to you. God damn it, you were there first... things were fine until them. Of course the person who rents the place out lives deep in the suburbs and only really shows their face when it's rent time. In reality, they could care less as long as they get that cash.
This has happened to me before. I had to run from another place when a-holes moved in. They were ready for all out war with me because I just wanted to be able to sleep. One day a guy was ready to attack me with a deadly weapon due to my continued unrealistic demands of respect and decency. Maybe I don't wanna listen to Fidy Cent at 12:30am when I have class in the morning. What's wrong with people? Does anyone in this world know that there are other people out there? We are living in a society, yet some people have only the considerations of themselves in mind.
So now what can I do this time? I've asked them numerous times for their consideration. Do I break out the baseball bat and ninja swords? I have to run again I guess. I have to run and find a better place to live. I'd love to stay and see justice be served, but how could it happen? I'm afraid life is often unfair and all we can do some of those times is one of two things: deal with it, or roll with it. I guess I'm dealing with this problem. Whether it's the best course of action remains to be seen, but I do know I will be out several hundred from moving again.
Because of all of this, I guess I am going to find a place with 2 friends. This is significant because I have never lived with anyone other than family before. This will be a new experience. I figure with splitting rent 3 ways, a very nice place can be found and money is no real concern. It's one of many changes I'm going through and all I know of change right now is that if you don't make a few changes in your life every now and then life will make changes for you.
If you knew me, you'd know that I was a quiet, nice, respectful, sensitive, soft-spoken person with simple needs and one who lives a simple life. I generally have high moral fiber but possess a very open mind. I can be stubborn or wide eyed as a kid on occasion and I'll be rational and logical like some green-blooded Vulcan on others. I'm very quiet and constantly thinking and analyzing life and all of its flavor. Sometimes I share with you what I taste here. The one thing you don't know about me is that I have deep anger inside of me.
Now don't get me wrong, I haven't struck a person since I was a kid back in 1990. But from time to time, I let people get to me. I keep that anger bottled up until I can release it through working out, writing, or some other creative release. It seems that even though I can usually vent my frustrations in life with very little fanfare, I'm quite skeptical that I'll be able to ever find inner peace. Why is this? It's because there are a lot of hurtful people in this world, and it seems like that pool will never be drained, hence the fires within me will never die.
In fact, my anger with disrespectful people grows. I'm hoping this continually fueled anger will fuel my creative abilities. I'm especially hoping that it inspires my writing to new levels.
As I type this the people who live down stairs from me are throwing ANOTHER party. There's people wooing, swearing, arguing and loud graphic music with thumping bass. Of course, I have to be up kinda early tomorrow, but they don't know that. As a matter of fact, I suspect that they could care less. I hate it when you live somewhere and then the rowdiest people around move in above, below or next to you. God damn it, you were there first... things were fine until them. Of course the person who rents the place out lives deep in the suburbs and only really shows their face when it's rent time. In reality, they could care less as long as they get that cash.
This has happened to me before. I had to run from another place when a-holes moved in. They were ready for all out war with me because I just wanted to be able to sleep. One day a guy was ready to attack me with a deadly weapon due to my continued unrealistic demands of respect and decency. Maybe I don't wanna listen to Fidy Cent at 12:30am when I have class in the morning. What's wrong with people? Does anyone in this world know that there are other people out there? We are living in a society, yet some people have only the considerations of themselves in mind.
So now what can I do this time? I've asked them numerous times for their consideration. Do I break out the baseball bat and ninja swords? I have to run again I guess. I have to run and find a better place to live. I'd love to stay and see justice be served, but how could it happen? I'm afraid life is often unfair and all we can do some of those times is one of two things: deal with it, or roll with it. I guess I'm dealing with this problem. Whether it's the best course of action remains to be seen, but I do know I will be out several hundred from moving again.
Because of all of this, I guess I am going to find a place with 2 friends. This is significant because I have never lived with anyone other than family before. This will be a new experience. I figure with splitting rent 3 ways, a very nice place can be found and money is no real concern. It's one of many changes I'm going through and all I know of change right now is that if you don't make a few changes in your life every now and then life will make changes for you.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
quenten:
Thanks for the birthday wishes!
vixenreincarnate:
The un-neighborly neighbor dilemma seems to plague many. Then, throw in a slum-lord "watching" over the situation, and it can even become worse. Running is an expensive option, but I've been through it several times. From the few times I have had to live with others, the most important thing I have learned is to check out what wherever they are residing now looks like, because that is undoubtedly how your shared dwelling will become - unless you make some ground rules beforehand, it can become ugly. The positive is that it can be fun and far cheaper at times. And....speaking of change...nothing is forever, so if it doesn't work out, then you roll along again.