edwin

Life's little moments... they shape who you are. They shape what you become. They set you free or imprison you.

I returned home from work a few hours ago, still a little groggy and out if it as I often am on Mondays. The weekend was too short. I want freedom. I want to create. I want to feel alive, BUT I need money. I need to pay bills. I need SOME direction in case the direction I choose delivers me to too many roads.

Monday comes and I feel flat. I feel like a kid again being told to do something when all I want to do is question orders and authority and have fun. I want to do this, I want to do that, I don't NEED to do anything. That's the struggle. I don't want to let go, but something pushes me to try. I'll never grow up, they'll never take me. I'll keep fighting, I'll stay gold.

So I returned home a little tired. Mondays I'm always at my worst. Tuesday begins and I acquiesce back to adulthood and all it's responsibilities until the next weekend and I return to the cycle. Or maybe I never leave.

I get home, grab a diet soda, put on a little mood music... and pass out.

I'm not really one for naps, but I don't fight em if they come calling. I slept for 90 minutes. I slept and I dreamt. I dreamt I made a decision. I dreamt I made a choice. This one little choice made a huge difference in that dream. My life shifted into a whole new speed, jumped into a bright new direction. I had love again. If John Lennon were here he'd tell ya. He'd tell ya that's all you need.

I woke up refreshed. Not so much refreshed because of an hour and a half of spotty rest, but more because of the dream... so artificial, but so real at the same moment. I felt loved again all because of a simple little choice I made in my subconscious mind.

Makes you wonder what one can do with a conscious mind. Makes you wonder what one can do with a choice at the simplest moment. Makes you wonder whether I think far too much. Makes ME wonder if you made it to the end of this.

Much love if you did.