Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

edwin

Buffalo, NY

Member Since 2004

Followers 32 Following 118

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Wednesday Jan 26, 2005

Jan 26, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
This is silly, but hey so am I...


One day in line at the company cafeteria, Jack said to Mike,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
replied. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds
and costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposited a urine sample in a small jar and took it
to Wal-Mart. He deposited ten dollars, and the computer lit
up and asked for the urine sample. He poured the sample into the slot and waited. Ten seconds later, the computer ejected a printout:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new techno logy was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.
He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and
awaited the results. The computer printed the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a
lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
never get better.

THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT WAL-MART


smile
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
ladymaze:
Quality definitely has its place. But sometimes, you're just in the mood to gorge, ya know?
Jan 28, 2005
vixenreincarnate:
Just when I thought Wal Mart had everything!
Jan 28, 2005

More Blogs

  • 05.19.11
    2

    Thursday May 19, 2011

    Keep it simple (5-19-11) So last night I find myself watching rer…
  • 03.16.11
    1

    Wednesday Mar 16, 2011

    Words and Actions Here I am the day after my first ever poetry re…
  • 07.01.10
    0

    Thursday Jul 01, 2010

    Chasing Dreams (7-1-10) I came back from the store with 3 bags fu…
  • 06.01.10
    0

    Tuesday Jun 01, 2010

    I think we should all look deep inside ourselves and release our inne…
  • 04.09.10
    3

    Friday Apr 09, 2010

    Forever is only a year or two Ive noticed a whole lot of infidelit…
  • 03.07.10
    3

    Sunday Mar 07, 2010

    The Time Travelers Life You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the…
  • 02.06.10
    5

    Sunday Feb 07, 2010

    Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cann…
  • 01.24.10
    4

    Sunday Jan 24, 2010

    When I see great acts of kindness it inspires me. When the act is clo…
  • 12.26.09
    5

    Saturday Dec 26, 2009

    Christmas cookies are evil.
  • 10.29.09
    6

    Thursday Oct 29, 2009

    With this site I have a new crush every week.

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
9
months
20
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,593 SuicideGirls
  • 1,118,095 followers
  • 14,927,843 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,410,708 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo