Golden Sunshine (5-12-08)
First things first, as you can see with my latest picture, I've lopped off my beard. Its spring time so I am going with a soft scruffy look. I know what you are thinking... soft scruffy? I know, it doesn't sound possible but dammit I will achieve it! Seriously folks, I feel like I look 5 years younger without the beard and I am feeling young of late.
Part of the reason I'm feeling younger is the sports I'm playing again. Every summer I play on a few softball teams, usually a coed football team and sometimes a soccer team or volleyball team. This time around I'm doing the coed football thing every Saturday and softball just started on Friday nights plus Sunday softball is about to start this weekend. I think in a few weeks I'm going to be playing sand volleyball too, or at least trying as volleyball is my worst sport. I was learning how to play a few years ago but injuries and life keeps getting in the way of my training. So basically I suck.
5 months a few weeks after the accident and after 12 rough weeks of rehabbing my knee/leg, I can do these things again but it's not the same. I have soreness and stiffness. I have fear and anxiety. These things are bad but trust me it would be far worse if I gave up sports in the sunshine. I've been running around in the sun since I can remember.
When I was little I'd climb trees and up to roofs. We'd play stickball, street hockey and football in the street or at the playground. Once I got to college I started playing basketball religiously for almost all of my twenties. Sometimes we'd play 5 days a week in the summertime when school was off.
As I got to my late twenties and up to now I discovered team sports in these social leagues. There are cool people, its coed, its fun and most importantly it's playing in the sunshine. I'm writing a poem about myself that isn't finished yet but I make reference I in it to Robert Frost's poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay"
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Must like how it was defined in the S.E. Hinton story the Outsiders, I define "staying gold" as a youngness of heart. It's the gleam in a kid's eye, the wonderment they express sometimes without even expressing it when they encounter and appreciate the things they did when they were green. It's continuing to be that way when going on new adventures, trying new things, unraveling life's nuances. As Johnny said it's a good way to be. I loathe the day when I can't go outside and play anymore. I suppose I would feel like a part of me would die when that day comes. I hope it never does. But that's why I'm still out there. That's why I've fought so hard to make it back. That's why I'll deal with the soreness and fear of making it worse.
This is me lately, playing in the sunshine, savoring each meal, breathing fresh air, rediscovering hackey-sack and bread pudding, thinking about pina coladas, watching clouds, daydreaming, writing poetry I intend to read in public this summer and enjoying everything I can.
First things first, as you can see with my latest picture, I've lopped off my beard. Its spring time so I am going with a soft scruffy look. I know what you are thinking... soft scruffy? I know, it doesn't sound possible but dammit I will achieve it! Seriously folks, I feel like I look 5 years younger without the beard and I am feeling young of late.
Part of the reason I'm feeling younger is the sports I'm playing again. Every summer I play on a few softball teams, usually a coed football team and sometimes a soccer team or volleyball team. This time around I'm doing the coed football thing every Saturday and softball just started on Friday nights plus Sunday softball is about to start this weekend. I think in a few weeks I'm going to be playing sand volleyball too, or at least trying as volleyball is my worst sport. I was learning how to play a few years ago but injuries and life keeps getting in the way of my training. So basically I suck.
5 months a few weeks after the accident and after 12 rough weeks of rehabbing my knee/leg, I can do these things again but it's not the same. I have soreness and stiffness. I have fear and anxiety. These things are bad but trust me it would be far worse if I gave up sports in the sunshine. I've been running around in the sun since I can remember.
When I was little I'd climb trees and up to roofs. We'd play stickball, street hockey and football in the street or at the playground. Once I got to college I started playing basketball religiously for almost all of my twenties. Sometimes we'd play 5 days a week in the summertime when school was off.
As I got to my late twenties and up to now I discovered team sports in these social leagues. There are cool people, its coed, its fun and most importantly it's playing in the sunshine. I'm writing a poem about myself that isn't finished yet but I make reference I in it to Robert Frost's poem "Nothing Gold Can Stay"
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Must like how it was defined in the S.E. Hinton story the Outsiders, I define "staying gold" as a youngness of heart. It's the gleam in a kid's eye, the wonderment they express sometimes without even expressing it when they encounter and appreciate the things they did when they were green. It's continuing to be that way when going on new adventures, trying new things, unraveling life's nuances. As Johnny said it's a good way to be. I loathe the day when I can't go outside and play anymore. I suppose I would feel like a part of me would die when that day comes. I hope it never does. But that's why I'm still out there. That's why I've fought so hard to make it back. That's why I'll deal with the soreness and fear of making it worse.
This is me lately, playing in the sunshine, savoring each meal, breathing fresh air, rediscovering hackey-sack and bread pudding, thinking about pina coladas, watching clouds, daydreaming, writing poetry I intend to read in public this summer and enjoying everything I can.