Catch the sun and face your fears (4-29-08)
I love spring. There's so much to be excited about. Now I know that there are always things to be excited about regardless of season but maybe when its springtime my mindset changes and I embrace all that is good around me with the kind of zeal I cannot muster during the grey chilly months. I awaken from my self imposed winter hibernation ready to absorb information, emotion, color, light, hope, adventure and fun. I feel reborn. I feel the need to go for more walks, write more blogs, kiss more females, be around more people, bask in the sun and feel more alive.
It's why I often tell people that I don't like places where it is warm every single day of the year. It's why I can't live in Southern California, Arizona, Florida, the Caribbean, the Middle East or Africa. Descartes or some other philosopher once said; if every day is a sunny day, then what's a sunny day? You have to not have things to appreciate them when you do; at least that's my philosophy.
With the accident last December and the crutches, the pain, the weight gain, the rehab, the weight loss and the mind games my hibernation this past winter was worse than any winter blues I've ever felt so here I am ready to explode in a karaoke supernova. Seriously I have so much energy as the temperature climbs.
As far as my physical therapy goes, I just finished it last Friday. I made it through 12 grueling weeks of strengthening, cardio and movements to try to recover the range of motion and strength in my leg and I have done that but it's still pretty scary. I'm afraid to slip or spin around or make any sudden movement purposely or accidentally because I know despite busting my ass to try to get myself back to how I was, I'll never quite be there. My knee ligament is torn, it won't heal on its own and quite frankly it could be fine for the next few years or it could go at any time. I'm still going to try to play all the sports I used to play. If I couldn't do the things I used to do or if I can't I would surely be depressed. I must face my fears and defeat them.
My football season has already begun and I am trying to get out there and play a little. I feel like my straight line running is close to normal but heaven forbid when I have to change direction or stop suddenly. That's when the mind games begin. I find myself scared to make sharp cuts or hard stops. I have to learn to trust my leg again but it's hard when you know there is damage in there despite how strong or solid it feels. Softball season starts in a few weeks and I am both eager and nervous.
Today however, I feel thrilled. I finally went out and picked up the new Portishead record:
I say finally but it only came out in stores yesterday. I don't think it's a perfect album or anything as I've never encountered one but I really like at least half the songs on it so that makes it a winner in my book. Just for the record my favorite songs on the disc are Silence, Hunter, Plastic and Threads to name a few or four.
Also this Friday is the finals of the Nickel City Poetry Slam. That basically translates to the Buffalo Poetry Slam. The 8 finalists from this past year are going to slam it out until 4 remain. Those 4 will go on to represent Buffalo at the nationals in Madison, WI as team Buffalo. The headliner is Carlos Andres Gomez from New York City and he is an individual champion in many areas and a national finalist. I will be there too and if you are interested in checking this out message me and I'll fill you in or answer any questions you might have.
This is all for now, my eyes are becoming heavy and my mind is all over the place. While this mental state might make for an interesting blog I'm not just starting, I'm just ending so bye.
I love spring. There's so much to be excited about. Now I know that there are always things to be excited about regardless of season but maybe when its springtime my mindset changes and I embrace all that is good around me with the kind of zeal I cannot muster during the grey chilly months. I awaken from my self imposed winter hibernation ready to absorb information, emotion, color, light, hope, adventure and fun. I feel reborn. I feel the need to go for more walks, write more blogs, kiss more females, be around more people, bask in the sun and feel more alive.
It's why I often tell people that I don't like places where it is warm every single day of the year. It's why I can't live in Southern California, Arizona, Florida, the Caribbean, the Middle East or Africa. Descartes or some other philosopher once said; if every day is a sunny day, then what's a sunny day? You have to not have things to appreciate them when you do; at least that's my philosophy.
With the accident last December and the crutches, the pain, the weight gain, the rehab, the weight loss and the mind games my hibernation this past winter was worse than any winter blues I've ever felt so here I am ready to explode in a karaoke supernova. Seriously I have so much energy as the temperature climbs.
As far as my physical therapy goes, I just finished it last Friday. I made it through 12 grueling weeks of strengthening, cardio and movements to try to recover the range of motion and strength in my leg and I have done that but it's still pretty scary. I'm afraid to slip or spin around or make any sudden movement purposely or accidentally because I know despite busting my ass to try to get myself back to how I was, I'll never quite be there. My knee ligament is torn, it won't heal on its own and quite frankly it could be fine for the next few years or it could go at any time. I'm still going to try to play all the sports I used to play. If I couldn't do the things I used to do or if I can't I would surely be depressed. I must face my fears and defeat them.
My football season has already begun and I am trying to get out there and play a little. I feel like my straight line running is close to normal but heaven forbid when I have to change direction or stop suddenly. That's when the mind games begin. I find myself scared to make sharp cuts or hard stops. I have to learn to trust my leg again but it's hard when you know there is damage in there despite how strong or solid it feels. Softball season starts in a few weeks and I am both eager and nervous.
Today however, I feel thrilled. I finally went out and picked up the new Portishead record:
I say finally but it only came out in stores yesterday. I don't think it's a perfect album or anything as I've never encountered one but I really like at least half the songs on it so that makes it a winner in my book. Just for the record my favorite songs on the disc are Silence, Hunter, Plastic and Threads to name a few or four.
Also this Friday is the finals of the Nickel City Poetry Slam. That basically translates to the Buffalo Poetry Slam. The 8 finalists from this past year are going to slam it out until 4 remain. Those 4 will go on to represent Buffalo at the nationals in Madison, WI as team Buffalo. The headliner is Carlos Andres Gomez from New York City and he is an individual champion in many areas and a national finalist. I will be there too and if you are interested in checking this out message me and I'll fill you in or answer any questions you might have.
This is all for now, my eyes are becoming heavy and my mind is all over the place. While this mental state might make for an interesting blog I'm not just starting, I'm just ending so bye.
severus:
Hey you, hope you're having a good weekend.