the Streets (4-19-08)
With the temperature steadily rising I love to get out on my bike and pedal my ass all over town. The feeling of having those legs churning and pumping and the wind in my mop of hair is a wonderful thing, especially considering where I've come from these 4+ months after the accident. On that sole personal level of me, the energy, the sweat, the work and the wind it's wonderful. If I rode my bike into and then home from work those 20 minutes each way and those things were all I encountered I'd be satisfied and probably pretty happy too.
The world is full of all kinds of people. There's respect and disrespect on every block. There's kindness and meanness on every busy corner. There's love and hate in every park. You walk down Queen Street, Elmwood Avenue, State Street, Market, Broadway, 14th street or Mulholland drive and you receive the same messages even if the messengers are different.
As I've gotten older I've grown more cynical. Does this happen to most people? I've grown more paranoid and bitterer about certain things. Now, don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I've turned into a dick. This is going to sound strangely worded, but no dick here. No, I've managed to find a country somewhere between dick and nave called skeptic. As a skeptic I embrace overthinking everything and doubting nearly as much. Things need to be proven to me. I won't ride my bike aggressively at a corner any more while a car is approaching the stop sign. I have to see it stop with my own eyes first.
Now getting hit by a car as I did while on foot in December will make your eyes open, your mind panic and your desire to stay safe a very strong one, but quite honestly this is something that has been brewing inside of me for a few years now. In fact I don't think it's brewing anymore, I think it's brewed. You want a cup?
What I'm getting at is that it seems I'm seeing things I haven't seen before. It seems like the world is changing for me. I guess it has to be a byproduct of getting older because the world hasn't changed that much right? I mean people have always blown through stop signs on side streets, right? Hasn't there anyways been this much broken glass all over the road? Isn't it nothing new that everyone is completely absorbed with themselves and couldn't care less about anyone else out there on those streets?
I've ridden a bike for probably the better part of two decades now. It's never been so bad. Was I simply a frivolous youth who until only a few years rode the streets with reckless abandon, or some kind of lack of attentiveness to the happenings going on around me? I've had so many near hits the last few summers with cars. Last summer I got flipped off my bike by a guy in an SUV talking on a cell phone. Two summers ago I got run off the road and flipped off my bike sideways by a guy in a bucket of steel with 4 wheels who was swerving suddenly to avoid the pothole he had just noticed a few feet away and quickly approaching his tires. Unfortunately he swerved right into my path on the other side of this narrow street sending me into a frantic evasive maneuver which took me right off the road. I rolled to my knees so I could watch the car shrink into the day as it sped so briskly away. I could go on and on but I wonder has it always been this bad?
Just about every morning I hit the road with my Schwinn filled with optimism about the ride ahead and when I reach my destination I find myself annoyed at what transpired only minutes and blocks before. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I'm holding on too tight. Perhaps in my old age I've grown unrealistic. I want there to be courtesy out there on the streets. I want people to stop throwing their bottles down on the ground in place of garbage cans. Even more than that, it would be nice if people smiled at each other more or held the door for someone else who's a few steps behind or helped someone up if they've fallen down. I do and have done these things. I'm off in my own little world most of the time awash in thought, but I'll still come back to the bigger world to do a nice thing, a generous thing or a decent thing for someone else. I wonder if anyone else feels the same or if anyone cares anymore. But to be honest with you, I would just settle for a nice event-free bike ride down the street.
With the temperature steadily rising I love to get out on my bike and pedal my ass all over town. The feeling of having those legs churning and pumping and the wind in my mop of hair is a wonderful thing, especially considering where I've come from these 4+ months after the accident. On that sole personal level of me, the energy, the sweat, the work and the wind it's wonderful. If I rode my bike into and then home from work those 20 minutes each way and those things were all I encountered I'd be satisfied and probably pretty happy too.
The world is full of all kinds of people. There's respect and disrespect on every block. There's kindness and meanness on every busy corner. There's love and hate in every park. You walk down Queen Street, Elmwood Avenue, State Street, Market, Broadway, 14th street or Mulholland drive and you receive the same messages even if the messengers are different.
As I've gotten older I've grown more cynical. Does this happen to most people? I've grown more paranoid and bitterer about certain things. Now, don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I've turned into a dick. This is going to sound strangely worded, but no dick here. No, I've managed to find a country somewhere between dick and nave called skeptic. As a skeptic I embrace overthinking everything and doubting nearly as much. Things need to be proven to me. I won't ride my bike aggressively at a corner any more while a car is approaching the stop sign. I have to see it stop with my own eyes first.
Now getting hit by a car as I did while on foot in December will make your eyes open, your mind panic and your desire to stay safe a very strong one, but quite honestly this is something that has been brewing inside of me for a few years now. In fact I don't think it's brewing anymore, I think it's brewed. You want a cup?
What I'm getting at is that it seems I'm seeing things I haven't seen before. It seems like the world is changing for me. I guess it has to be a byproduct of getting older because the world hasn't changed that much right? I mean people have always blown through stop signs on side streets, right? Hasn't there anyways been this much broken glass all over the road? Isn't it nothing new that everyone is completely absorbed with themselves and couldn't care less about anyone else out there on those streets?
I've ridden a bike for probably the better part of two decades now. It's never been so bad. Was I simply a frivolous youth who until only a few years rode the streets with reckless abandon, or some kind of lack of attentiveness to the happenings going on around me? I've had so many near hits the last few summers with cars. Last summer I got flipped off my bike by a guy in an SUV talking on a cell phone. Two summers ago I got run off the road and flipped off my bike sideways by a guy in a bucket of steel with 4 wheels who was swerving suddenly to avoid the pothole he had just noticed a few feet away and quickly approaching his tires. Unfortunately he swerved right into my path on the other side of this narrow street sending me into a frantic evasive maneuver which took me right off the road. I rolled to my knees so I could watch the car shrink into the day as it sped so briskly away. I could go on and on but I wonder has it always been this bad?
Just about every morning I hit the road with my Schwinn filled with optimism about the ride ahead and when I reach my destination I find myself annoyed at what transpired only minutes and blocks before. Maybe I care too much. Maybe I'm holding on too tight. Perhaps in my old age I've grown unrealistic. I want there to be courtesy out there on the streets. I want people to stop throwing their bottles down on the ground in place of garbage cans. Even more than that, it would be nice if people smiled at each other more or held the door for someone else who's a few steps behind or helped someone up if they've fallen down. I do and have done these things. I'm off in my own little world most of the time awash in thought, but I'll still come back to the bigger world to do a nice thing, a generous thing or a decent thing for someone else. I wonder if anyone else feels the same or if anyone cares anymore. But to be honest with you, I would just settle for a nice event-free bike ride down the street.
I'd luv to go for a care free bike ride! Be careful over there!