Happy Valentine's Day (2-14-07)
Would you be mine?
I admit I'm a little sad and a little lonely this Valentine's Day, but it's not as it seems.
This is my artists' interpretation of anti-Valentine's day. I thought about how every v-day I piss and moan about being lonely AGAIN and whine and wonder if I will ever find someone, yada yada yada. So when I started to get sad this year I decided to make light of it. So here I am poking fun at the worst lonely v-day stereotypes. Now please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not making fun of anyone out there who is lonely today, I'm only making fun of myself.
So here I present to you the anatomy of the anti-valentine's day picture:
1-passed out: I figured passed out on the chair, drunk off my ass would be a necessary element of the picture. At first I wasn't sure at first whether I should be passed out on the floor against the wall or in a chair but after conferring with my photographer, we decided the chair would be better.
2-booze: If you are astute you might notice the shot glass over on its' side on the table, the open bottle of Celtic Crossing on the table, the small bottle of rum in my shirt pocket, the large bottle of precious rum tucked beneath my right arm and all the beer bottles on the floor. We actually placed about 20 beer bottles on the floor scattered at my feet, but I believe you can only see 3-4 in this shot. I felt this was the best overall shot from the set despite the loss of all the extra beer bottles.
3-candy: You'll notice the candy to my right. I had to buy a heart shaped box of candy to really drive the shot home so I did that. You'll also notice a 6 pack of Snickers bars on the table as well. 2 have been eaten. I confess. I did eat the 2 Snickers bars but it was necessary for the art... for the art!
4-chips: I thought potato chip crumbs on my shirt would be a nice touch. As you can possibly see on the back of the table, I went with Doritos Cool Ranch. I don't eat chips too often, but when I do Cool Ranch may be my favorite. I thought the photog may have sprinkled too many crumbs on me, but overdoing it was kind of the theme of the pic.
5-music: Our sad lonely Eddie model is listening to CDs. You can't see the discman because I was sitting on it. The CD cases are on the table and if you can identify the CDs I bow and kneel at your feet because you must be really good. But for information's sake, the CDs are Cure-Disentigration, Joy Division-Still, and Jeff Buckley -Grace.
6-clothes: For the shoot I wore a tight white t-shirt by Fruit of the Loom, Jogging Pants by Hanes, a nice 70's looking button down by someone who's name excapes me and 1 black sock. The 1 sock idea came to me as we were setting up proving that it's never too late for good ideas.
7-hair: For the shoot my hair was done in by my winter hat, some water and some frantic running of fingers (my fingers) through it for 1 full minute beforehand.
8-bloated: While wearing the tight white shirt helped the shot, "passing out" in a more compact position helped to make the gut look a little bigger as well as heaving it out some. I confess, most of that belly is mine but I was seriously taking little breaths between each picture and trying to heave it out a little more each time. Also, my head is over to the side to simulate being passed out but I'm also scrunching my face/head down against my neck to try to give the viewer some serious double chin action to further enhance the bloated look of the subject.
9-hands: My left hand is in my pants ala Al Bundy from Married With Children, while my right hand holds a tissue. What's the tissue for? I leave that to the imagination of the viewer. The tissue in the hand was another last second suggestion. This came from the photog. My original plan for my right hand was to have it still buried in the bag of chips. So yes, despite having it all planned out I am still open to other's ideas... and my 3rd grade teacher said I don't work well in groups, ha!
also the ugly orange chair and green carpet were completely unintentional... the chairs came with me and the green carpet came with the apartment.
So yes I am a wacko but I am an adorable one despite my ill appearance above. I have a rule in life that I think should be embraced by all: If you can't laugh at yourself you shouldn't be allowed to laugh at anyone else.
so despite feeling a little down about being lonely again this year I don't begrudge those of you who have someone and I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day.
Would you be mine?
I admit I'm a little sad and a little lonely this Valentine's Day, but it's not as it seems.
This is my artists' interpretation of anti-Valentine's day. I thought about how every v-day I piss and moan about being lonely AGAIN and whine and wonder if I will ever find someone, yada yada yada. So when I started to get sad this year I decided to make light of it. So here I am poking fun at the worst lonely v-day stereotypes. Now please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not making fun of anyone out there who is lonely today, I'm only making fun of myself.
So here I present to you the anatomy of the anti-valentine's day picture:
1-passed out: I figured passed out on the chair, drunk off my ass would be a necessary element of the picture. At first I wasn't sure at first whether I should be passed out on the floor against the wall or in a chair but after conferring with my photographer, we decided the chair would be better.
2-booze: If you are astute you might notice the shot glass over on its' side on the table, the open bottle of Celtic Crossing on the table, the small bottle of rum in my shirt pocket, the large bottle of precious rum tucked beneath my right arm and all the beer bottles on the floor. We actually placed about 20 beer bottles on the floor scattered at my feet, but I believe you can only see 3-4 in this shot. I felt this was the best overall shot from the set despite the loss of all the extra beer bottles.
3-candy: You'll notice the candy to my right. I had to buy a heart shaped box of candy to really drive the shot home so I did that. You'll also notice a 6 pack of Snickers bars on the table as well. 2 have been eaten. I confess. I did eat the 2 Snickers bars but it was necessary for the art... for the art!
4-chips: I thought potato chip crumbs on my shirt would be a nice touch. As you can possibly see on the back of the table, I went with Doritos Cool Ranch. I don't eat chips too often, but when I do Cool Ranch may be my favorite. I thought the photog may have sprinkled too many crumbs on me, but overdoing it was kind of the theme of the pic.
5-music: Our sad lonely Eddie model is listening to CDs. You can't see the discman because I was sitting on it. The CD cases are on the table and if you can identify the CDs I bow and kneel at your feet because you must be really good. But for information's sake, the CDs are Cure-Disentigration, Joy Division-Still, and Jeff Buckley -Grace.
6-clothes: For the shoot I wore a tight white t-shirt by Fruit of the Loom, Jogging Pants by Hanes, a nice 70's looking button down by someone who's name excapes me and 1 black sock. The 1 sock idea came to me as we were setting up proving that it's never too late for good ideas.
7-hair: For the shoot my hair was done in by my winter hat, some water and some frantic running of fingers (my fingers) through it for 1 full minute beforehand.
8-bloated: While wearing the tight white shirt helped the shot, "passing out" in a more compact position helped to make the gut look a little bigger as well as heaving it out some. I confess, most of that belly is mine but I was seriously taking little breaths between each picture and trying to heave it out a little more each time. Also, my head is over to the side to simulate being passed out but I'm also scrunching my face/head down against my neck to try to give the viewer some serious double chin action to further enhance the bloated look of the subject.
9-hands: My left hand is in my pants ala Al Bundy from Married With Children, while my right hand holds a tissue. What's the tissue for? I leave that to the imagination of the viewer. The tissue in the hand was another last second suggestion. This came from the photog. My original plan for my right hand was to have it still buried in the bag of chips. So yes, despite having it all planned out I am still open to other's ideas... and my 3rd grade teacher said I don't work well in groups, ha!
also the ugly orange chair and green carpet were completely unintentional... the chairs came with me and the green carpet came with the apartment.
So yes I am a wacko but I am an adorable one despite my ill appearance above. I have a rule in life that I think should be embraced by all: If you can't laugh at yourself you shouldn't be allowed to laugh at anyone else.
so despite feeling a little down about being lonely again this year I don't begrudge those of you who have someone and I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
"2 have been eaten. I confess. I did eat the 2 Snickers bars but it was necessary for the art... for the art!"
I ate almost two full boxes of chocolate, not just some measly snickers bars! BOXES!