edwin

busy bee impatiently (10-3)
Current mood: anxious


It's been a screwy 2 weeks. I'm messed up internally. Normally I'd write it all out here, but I'm sick of whining about things lately. I'll express myself with an occasional poem but if you really care to know what's going on with me, message me. Most of the time I feel like letting things out through words whether spoken or otherwise to help cleanse the soul, but I also believe in not sounding like a broken record either.

In other news, I have 2 softball games in a row tonight (weather permitting), a basketball league game tomorrow (indoors) and softball playoffs on Friday night (either 1 or 2 games). Since I've kind of based my summer on activities and sports, this is really MY last week of summer. After this week, all I'll have is the weekly indoor basketball league. It'll mark the least active I've been since early May. I don't like the sound of that. I have to find other activities to do.

Keeping busy keeps my mind from messing with me, you know? When I have too much time on my hands it can be good and bad. Good in that I have time to consider a great many things and I always have tons of ideas about life. I end up using a small portion of the extra time to pursue creative endeavors which I really think I need in my life. Bad because I overanalyze all the time and when I'm feeling down the last thing I want to do is make myself feel worse by overthinking it, getting paranoid and thinking of new ways to open old wounds. Does anyone out there understand?

So I'm trying to keep busy. The baseball playoffs and the return of hockey will help a little. Hmmm what else can I do to pass the time?

to be continued...



oh by the way...

now you can get a driver's license or ID for your pet. The link is http://www.mypetdmv.com/

what will they think of next?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

the Ballad of Eddie the Kid (10-2)

Sneaking upon me, pulling the carpet out from under my feet
leaving me sadder than ever to levels below I've never known
The lost art of the broken heart returns just in time for bed
featuring the reality of the spaces beside me as I sleep alone

I shouldn't feel what I feel, I shouldn't think what I think
I shouldn't apply dark lessons to solve all of my dark troubles
I had always thought these debts were going to be paid in full
but now I think I may have to pay double

There was a day when I thought it was all figured out
When I had found someone who made life worth living
I let down my guard that one time and was compromised
when the balance of life became more taking than giving

I feel I've been mistreated for not getting too many treats
Why should I be any different than anyone else out there
floating freely in the arms of another breathing in rarified air
while I sink further into this pit of despair

Leading a good life full of honesty and this high moral code
leaves me looking at one man with a heart eager to break
because I won't ante up and reserve a spot at the table
because I don't think I'm ready to make another mistake

What do I really know about this grand magic ride
When will I give in, give up and fail to comply?
It gets harder to hold on even if I know I'm right
I also know as days pass by, it gets harder to say goodbye

I find myself easily being green and looking up to dozens of clouds
Looking for answers and all I see is a dog, a bird, a release
Where's my defiant spirit now? Where's my elaborate ruse?
I badly need it when my hopes plummet and my fears increase

I swear it gets tougher to put on my face in the morning
while impatiently waiting for a present from life's absentee
I transfer the pain to the inside so the outside looks fine
then I collapse into tears and ask why won't lady luck shine on me