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edwin

Buffalo, NY

Member Since 2004

Followers 32 Following 118

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Friday Jun 30, 2006

Jun 30, 2006
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Me and the Fly (6-30)


I'm sitting down and I can't help but feel excited. It's Friday! On Friday my mood is always good, but at lunchtime it's extra good because, well I love food. Today I bought a grillen chicken salad from the place a block from where I work. The veggies are always fresh tasting, the chicken is grilled just right. I generally bring my own lunch most of the week, and then on Friday indulge a bit.

The salad comes in a plastic container that can be closed and this is important for reasons you'll see momentarily. Normally I'd go with a sub on Friday for no particular reason, but today I felt like changing it up a little.

As I begin to devour the tasty salad a fly begins to buzz around. We can't have that. I need to eat in peace. So I turn to my right where I have a small stack of junky books on the corner of my desk. The one that jumps out at me is the "George Foreman Knock Out the Fat Grilling and BBQ cookbook" It's in softcover but is thick and overall is a nice size. It would be perfect to introduce to my newfound admirer buzzing about.

Predictibly in a minute the fly returns. It makes a dive straight for the salad and caught me a little unprepared. I had to place my hands directly over the top of the salad to prevent contact. The fly instead lands on my hand. I quickly push my hands upwards which startles the fly and makes it retreat for a moment. Now being in full blown defcon 3 mode, I have the wherewithal to close the plastic flip top on the salad so that I may direct my attention to the intruder.

This fly proves to be the most persistant pest I can remember. Every time I open the lid on the salad it returns for a swoop at it. Is it possible to keep the Foreman book in one hand and eat with the other. In this case an extra hand to work the top of the lid would be handy but unfortunately I only have 2.

I find myself stealing bites and then quickly closing the lid. The fly keeps making attempts at the salad despite it only being open long enough for me to steal a quick forkfull. The fly even danced around my mouth when a little ranch dressing failed to get all the way inside. Any attempt I made to neutralize the fiend proved fruitless because this insect has got the moves.

What nerve! I mean you just think I'd let a stranger swoop in and sample some of my highly anticipated lunch? Introduce yourself. Talk to me for a few minutes. Give me compliments, even if you don't mean it. You gotta butter me up if you want to slide a little lunch from my clutches. Sometimes I think I'll never quite understand flies.

I have finished my lunch but with all the effort involved just to eat my food without incident and all the emotional strain endured on the most glorious part of my workday, I think I may need a break after my break.

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