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edwin

Buffalo, NY

Member Since 2004

Followers 32 Following 118

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Wednesday Jun 21, 2006

Jun 21, 2006
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The enemy, the worst enemy (6-22)

Welcome to the pit of despair. Tonight I'm a little down in the dumps. Of course it's because of stupid reasons. Earlier this evening my soccer team got obliterated 5-0 by the best team in our league. Unfortunately bad plays that I made had a lot to do with 3 of the 5 goals, 2 directly, 1 indirectly. Sometimes I have to stop and remember that I've only been playing soccer for a little over a month, ever. The teams we encounter the majority of the time are more skilled and far better experienced but I am so incredibly hard on myself, always have been. I could never ever do something, then try it and then I'll expect to be able to do it right. It's completely unreasonable and it almost seems that I look for reasons to beat myself up sometimes.

All of this is on top of softball last evening, where we lost by a stinking run and I left thinking I could have done more to have helped us win. A long time ago when I played sports I used to be very competitive with other people but at this point in my life I moved on. I could really care less about the other people now. The only person I care to compete with anymore is myself.

Now competing with yourself isn't all bad. It can make you a better person. When you stop caring about the actions of others and only concern yourself with your own conduct you can look inside and see the wrongs. You can challenge yourself to acheive and evolve. You can opt to grow and learn... or you can defeat yourself sometimes before you have actually lost. You can choose not to learn from your experience and lament the mistakes you made.

Overall, I'm probably in between. I'm certainly lamenting my blunders and feeling depressed and beaten. BUT, on Sunday we have practice and I can't wait to practice and to see if I can apply the lessons I endured today. Perhaps I need 2-3 days to mourn the bad things before I am ready to transform those unfavorable occurances into favorable ones.

There are 2 extremes out there. There are those who are so consumed about the looks, words and actions of other people that they have a hole inside themselves. Then there are those who spend so much time consumed with their own actions, particularly the wrong actions that they begin to burn a hole inside themselves as well. Obviously I'm in the latter group. I certainly think being in the 2nd group is better because you do not usually impact others but either way the lesson for everyone else to learn here is to not be so hard on others or yourself or you may become your own worst enemy.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
adalynn:
well look at it this way....you seem like a really active guy, you've got all these games and competitions...man, i don't do anything anymore. shocked
be proud of yourself for doing something wink
xoxo a
Jun 22, 2006
jazz:
Hi,
Hope your feelin a little better today.

Is america in the soccer world cup this year?

Jazz
Jun 23, 2006

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