Saturday Oct 09, 2010

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Remember getting to the bottom of your soul, through the travel of glass after glass after glass of whiskey?
I identify with that with that comfort more than a clear recollection of my actions.
Age has brought me maturity, and maturity has brought me the heavy truth. The truth of what happens after we make our choices. Not to say that I regret. There really isn't much I regret, if at all.
But goddamnit, do affairs of the heart ever get any damn easier?
I don't know when or where or even how it started, but i've come to find that I'm really good at making things reckless and passionate and a complete mess. "love" is a dirty dirty word. And it digs into people to rip out their hopes and dreams and lives.
I am a siren, calling men to the sea... never to see their home.

I'll burn in hell someday.
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zenexistence:
Reckless and passionate are two sides to the same coin. I mean really, how can you be totally and utterly passionate WITHOUT having a solid degree of recklessness (be it mental or physical) involved in the mix?

Mira's right, maturity always brings hindsight because when you're younger and carefree you almost never stop to wonder where you're off to with your choices in the first place. The problem with gaining that the insight that comes with maturity is that you truly feel losses and finalities more deeply because you understand the extent as to how deeply these happenings cut.

Drink after drink was the only way I used to be able to feel anything when I was younger. These days, the more I drink the less I feel and that's utterly fucked, because now, more than ever, I WANT to care.

As for "love" well, it's a four letter word, just like frog or shit or cake; all things I steer way clear of these days.


Just kidding.


I love cake.
inkedbuddhist:
wow can i relate to this.. why do we make life so hard.. so complicated.. is it so we feel alive?? cause why does it make us doubt being so!!

zenexistence.. i love cake too...

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