edrok666

My emotions have been all over the place today. I don't know whether I'm coming or going.

I met a girl last weekend and I really, really like her, but at the moment we are only friends, which is fine. But she's brought out feelings in me that I haven't had for a while.

Yesterday I went to visit a very close female friend of mine. I dated her for a little while a few years ago, but we were friends both before and after we dated. We have always been quite touchy-feely with each other. We hug, we kiss each other on the cheek when we greet each other or say good bye, we pat each other on the back - just innocent things. And neither of us read too much into that. That's just the way we've always been.

He current boyfriend, who she's only been dating for a few weeks but has already moved into her home (where she lives with her mum and step-brother), had a go at me for touching 'his girlfriend'. I felt intimidated by him and very nervous. My friend's mum took us all out for a pub dinner, he told me this just after we got out of the car. But the other 3 didn't hear.

Minutes later he almost got us thrown out of the pub where we were about to order dinner because he insulted a member of the bar staff in a threatening way. The same pub that my friend and her mum and step-brother have been going to on a weekly basis for the past few years. He upset my friend and her family right there in the pub. He went to apologise to the pub staff member that. While he was away from the table I talked to my friend and told him what he'd said to me outside. I broke down into tears, she comforted me. And said she likes it when I touch her and she likes to touch me - just a comforting hand on the shoulder or arm or back, or a hug, that's all we ever do. She said she'd set the record straight with him later on, but that I wasn't to worry because she would never allow someone to interfere with our friendship. I went to the toilets to compose myself before the boyfriend came back.

We were allowed to order food after the boyfriend apologised, but I know that my friend's mum and step-brother were still very pissed off that he had spoilt the evening.

When we got back to my friend's house, she comforted me some more and just re-assured me that she does appreciate me visiting her and she does appreciate my friendship. We hugged and cuddled while were just on our own for 5 minutes.

I stayed the night on the living room sofa, thanks to my friend's mum putting me up for the night. In the morning my friend's mum had said that my friend had come into her bedroom at 5am crying. She was crying because of the way her boyfriend re-acted towards me - one of her closest friends. The boyfriend doesn't score very highly with my friend's mum. Since he moved in he's been sponging off them as a family. Yesterday's events just added to their dislike of the man. But my friend herself is blinded by love for this man and can't see that he is a bad person - a selfish violent tempered man who sponges off his girlfriend and her family.

My friend has been in violent relationships before, and although this man is nowhere near as bad as a couple of the men she was with before - I still worry about her. I worry that he is doing damage to her relationships with the rest of her family.

I left their house this morning feeling very emotional.

I got back home and ended up chatting online to my ex-girlfriend (who is also another close female friend of mine). I was feeling low and just needed some cheering up, but in the process made an off-the-cuff remark saying that I thought she looked good naked. She took what I said badly. I said I was sorry, and we made up, but now I'm worried that she is uncomfortable with me.

I guess I'm just a worrier. I think my ex-girlfriend will be ok, I'll just have to watch what I say next time I talk to her. The situation with my other friend is bit more difficult.

I really could do with a hug right now.