edmark

I need to write something down. it's gotten to that point. I can't make sense out of my mind anymore. It feels good to be evil, but at the same time quite unfulfilling, ultimately. greed leads to loss. wrecklessness and irresponsibility certainly are not where respect is garnered, or whatever....................... I'm listening to acid trance right now, and it's not helping "what we do in life echoes for eternity" is the loop... if only it weren't so true. I find that right now I'm really struggling with upright decision making. Unfortunately i'm dead serious.

hmmmmm, but not to end this on a bad note, because all it takes in times like these is a little vigilance in the creative process to spare a loss of integrity. more acid trance loops "progress, new ideas, inventiveness, creativity. All of this I believe is related to taking a risk. going into the unknown territory." daring to stand up to the challenge and do what might equate a loss of control. This is my current biggest issue. Luckily the wheel of fortune, fate, keeps your dirty little hands just out of reach.

And don't get me wrong, as much as I'm in support of Evilism, and I promise you, I take great enjoyment in it, it's a fucking trap. By the way, if you like acid trance this album is really good--it's called Shapeshifter by Space Tribe. They converted me at Burning Man. But anyway, thus is the disappointment in life. Oh how I'd love to be a villianess. Plenty of glamour in it, and isn't that my ultimate goal anyway? Glamorous SuperVillian. uuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh