So today has been the hardest day by far. I am feeling really lost and alone right now. Add on top of that, josh moved out today. I was really hoping for big ol' snuggles when I got home. Well, at least I still have luna the bitch cat right. 
It's just been a really hard day on me. If Victor talks about how great his life is one more time I think I am going to rip out his balls. Well... he talks about how great his life WILL be. He talks about his plans for a Car, and a TV, and all this bullshit. But you know what, My life IS great right now. Other than cleaning all this shit up I have a really phenominal life.
I just got the title to the bug today. I have a union job interview tommorow at 9 PM. My aunt Carol is buying me a kiln, and she is even going to let me live with her too.
Now all I have to do is convince her I need some space in the garage for a glass workshop for a while. That and that she NEEDS cable internet.
I think all in all this will work out in the end. tonight, coming to an empty house, that hurt. Listening to Kerrie tell vic she is worried about him, that hurt. Victor not wanting me to touch him, that really hurts. I guess it's just all pain right now, and I'm not trying to be a martyr. I just hurt so much right now. Today is the first day I wanted to just give up. Lay myself down and stop fighting. I still want to. I just want to curl up and die... listen to my winamp, and watch milkdrop.
But I have luna to take care of, and my plants, and me. She's nothing special but she's my main priority right now. I think I'll shut my phone off, and only answer calls I don't know.
Job interviews and the like. But I think I am done with my friends for a while. It's not that I don't love them all, but It hurts so damn much right now, they don't need to see me in this much pain. I hate this feeling. Like my chest wants to cave in and my head is spinning. I hate it, I want things just to be ok.
To quote the song i listen to most often, "you said that it would, now everything should, be allright."
Name the song and get a kiss!
It's just been a really hard day on me. If Victor talks about how great his life is one more time I think I am going to rip out his balls. Well... he talks about how great his life WILL be. He talks about his plans for a Car, and a TV, and all this bullshit. But you know what, My life IS great right now. Other than cleaning all this shit up I have a really phenominal life.
I just got the title to the bug today. I have a union job interview tommorow at 9 PM. My aunt Carol is buying me a kiln, and she is even going to let me live with her too.
Now all I have to do is convince her I need some space in the garage for a glass workshop for a while. That and that she NEEDS cable internet.
I think all in all this will work out in the end. tonight, coming to an empty house, that hurt. Listening to Kerrie tell vic she is worried about him, that hurt. Victor not wanting me to touch him, that really hurts. I guess it's just all pain right now, and I'm not trying to be a martyr. I just hurt so much right now. Today is the first day I wanted to just give up. Lay myself down and stop fighting. I still want to. I just want to curl up and die... listen to my winamp, and watch milkdrop.
But I have luna to take care of, and my plants, and me. She's nothing special but she's my main priority right now. I think I'll shut my phone off, and only answer calls I don't know.
Job interviews and the like. But I think I am done with my friends for a while. It's not that I don't love them all, but It hurts so damn much right now, they don't need to see me in this much pain. I hate this feeling. Like my chest wants to cave in and my head is spinning. I hate it, I want things just to be ok.
To quote the song i listen to most often, "you said that it would, now everything should, be allright."
Name the song and get a kiss!
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Feel better. I don't like it when people are sad cuz I wish I could just say something and make everything better, but it doesn't always work like that...
-hug-