edenkitty

So it's been forever and a fucking day since I have updated and since I feel guilty about it I will post some blather now.

I have had an interesting couple of weeks, they have been filled with all sorts of crazy things, astrology nights, Morris Dancers at dawn on beltane, the coast, seeing the loverly ColoredDreams, going to montana, paying a shit ton of money to the government, getting my new car, losing my liscence plate, knitting, reading, crying, screaming, bathing, avoiding human contact, reveling in my friendships, finding I have permission to boink my Josh anytime, using the newfound permission, snuggling, puzzling, buying sewing machines, smuggling poodles into target, etc.

Yeah I know, it's been crazy and fun. I figure you all have given up on me, which is cool, I would have long ago, but I am back. Sans any pictures of me, I really don't want to exist right now. so i won't. At least not here. Maybe another day and I will. But as for today, I am dead. Gone, here in the etheral but not in the physical. I have been hiding, making myself invisable and getting damn fucking good at it. I have gone from being a bright spot in my own life to becoming a pox on me and everyone I touch. I have lost my positive, yeah, i can pretend to be happy and pretend it doesn't hurt. But dammit this life is all about hurt and no one understands that the pain they have is different, yet the same. I have been happy these past weeks, I have been sad too. I have been sane and it's lesser realms. I have been alive and dead. I have been one with the universe and cast out into the depths of shadow. I have been so high and will be so low.

Don't worry, my body is safe, my soul is a whole nother ball game.