edenkitty

I'm Sad, If you don't really want to hear why, feel free to skip this journal entry, it's going to be whine-tastic.

So here is where things stand. I am sad, I know I will be happy again soon, but today I am moog beyond moog.

My mouth tastes like crap, I can fix that. My skeleton hurts, I can't even take advil, that sucks, and I can't fix it. *leaves the computer and finds gum and a bottle of water*

Onto my list of things that are making my life sad.

Medications ok so I know I said I would just fucking get over them but I'm not. The side effects are killing so much of me. I think the constant skeletal pain is involved. My hands go numb easier, I am cold more often, I am depressed (an actual documented side effect), I am dizzy and sleepy. Yeah I know it's a lot at once, hence why it seems like shit sucks right now. So I can't drive, I hurt to much to go anywhere anyway, and the boys aren't being very supportive about my need for escape.

The Need for Escape I need to escape. I need an outlet that i can forget I live in this tiny apartment with two boys and three cats. Where I can forget that my husband works at home, and expects me to look aside while he plays everquest for 8+ hours a day. Mind you most of it is spent in the evening, but still, I would like to do something with him. So today I wanted to go to the coast, it is sunny and cold as fuck so it seemed like the perfect day. No go, how about the falls? no go. How about a garden? no go. It's all too cold. what the fuck ever, and since I cannot drive it really narrows my possibilities.

Lack of People I know I have four wonderful people who are my friends on SG. They are funny, and read what I have to say, and make me laugh. I wouldn't mind knowing more people though, I even belong to the no friends group. I even offer to be people friend, but to what avail. None, and everytime I post or anything it is dead, dead like my social life. I honestly only have one friend in real life, and she is wonderful and kinda weird, but it's not the same i guess. I guess nothing is the same as it was. I'm not going to be a popular housewife, you never meet anyone new.

Feeling like no one understands it's nothing new, and nothing really important it's just here.

Having random internet goths think I am going to fawn all over them because goth boys suck. I am so tired of having random goth boys pop up on my Yahoo messenger and want to chat me up, I gave the first few a try, but all they do is whine. Seriously, they think the world is out to get them and that no one will ever love them. Here's a few hints, take a shower, listen to better music, laugh, and seriously rethink all the black leather and long hair. It's not that hard guys, It really isn't.

ok, I feel better, I will stop my bitching. I have four great people on here, and I should be happy that they think I'm fun enough to talk to. I have a great husband who supports me emotionally, physically, and financially. I have a best friend who calls every night because she misses me. I have a loving family who it taking me to dim sum tommorow. I really should just buck it up. The depression is temporary, and the pain will be dealt with in due course. Night all, I really do appreciate your reading of all my shlock.