edenkitty

So My computer desk looks like a fucking pharmacy. Grah. I really don't like having to take supplements let alone all this crap. But it's ok, I will get over it. But still, I am not thrilled.

I had a weirdness happen on sunday, and by monday night I was diagnosed with chronic migranes. yay for me. makes sense. but still.

So I am really mourning the loss of my pain. I know that sounds weird. Maybe not so much the loss of the pain but the pain itself. For so many years I have convinced myself that this hyper sensitivity to light and sound is normal. That all wives freak out about noise so bad they unplug the fridge. I guess not though. I guess it really isn't normal to wear sunglasses in a mall, or in target. I guess along with that it isn't normal to be in pain all day. Not muscle pain or the like, but for years, prolly since I was ten, I have had a headache every day. I guess I am mourning my lack of normalcy. The lack of my telling someone sooner how much I hurt. I mourn being so mean to everyone in my life because they are loud or i hurt. Or maybe it's more of a regret. nah.. I mourn, it sounds darker! I honestly try not to regret that much. But today is hard.

So onwards.. the pharmacy. Well I started taking supplements a few weeks ago and feel better in general, I take a woman's multi, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and zinc. all which make me feel better. So yay for supplements. The gray thing is my birthcontrol, well actually in this case hormone therapy. Yeah, I'm a crazy bitch who will be period free soon. Then there is my 81mg aspirin a day, followed with a beta-blocker chaser. Yeah that's an ass ton of stuff to take each day. But hey, Cocktails anyone?

the only thing that really scares me is the beta-blocker. My doctor says it may help with my heart weirdness, and it should prevent most migrane symptoms. Beta-blockers are used to treat a lot of things, High Blood Pressure, Angina, and Migranes. yeah, did you know having migranes mean you are more likely to have a stroke, hence the aspirin and the beta-blocker, since hormones make clotting more likely. Grahh.. it makes my head spin.

oooh Beta-blockers have lots of fun side effects,

fatigue or confusion;
headache or dizziness;
weak pulse or mildly slow heart rate;
diarrhea, constipation, gas, nausea, or vomiting;
depression;
nightmares; or
impotence

those are the mild ones... meepers. also for the first few WEEKS .. extreme fatigue, dizziness when standing, etc. Best yet, No alcohol for me. :-( oh well, I really didn't drink anyway

any hoo.. I'm gonna brush my teeth and go to bed. Sleep well everyone!

edited cause I'm shtoopid.