Bright orange and reds stream cold and bright off to the east. It's another sunrise and i am stepping out of the evening into the morning. It is always calm at sunrise. It's that point where the world around me is waking and i am getting ready to sleep. Life is casual during this part of the day.
I look over at Abu and he is sleeping. He has the amazing ability to fall asleep with little or no regard for the morning sunrise that now covers the eastern sky. Little puffs of warm dog breath visible in the frozen car. Soon the car will be warm and this moment will disappear like the sunrise.
For one second everything is the way it should be. Then you look away and it fades gently into memory.
I drive toward Tammy's house. I had ever intention of going there. I promised i would, but somehow i just kept heading west into the mountains.
I was in my truck and it is not the snow hound "george" is. It was stuck quickly in ankle deep snow. So i got out and started walking. Abu trailing behind.
Soon however he was not happy with being in the snow. He is a small dog and the cold finds him quickly. As i looked down at him i knew he would go on as far as i wanted. He was shivering. So i tied the waistband on my jacket and placed him inside with his head sticking out and ice cold paws digging into my side.
I come from the cold mountains. I miss them. I miss my dogs, my home and my way of life. When I was young all my energy centered on leaving. On condemning old people for living in old ways. I know that I would have suffocated a slow death if I stayed, but that does not stop my wanting to have those days and that life again.
I made out with a couple of girls tonight. Slow teasing tongues and gentle caresses. Kissing with one friend until another protests. Non-sexual yet sensual all mixed up in the bizarre little world I make. Some girl I never met before decided she wanted some also so off to the corner I went. Dark glaring eyes of friends left out of the fun trailing me. I left her there. She wanted to much, more than I can give.
Its been 8 years since I have looked a women in the face and told her I loved her. In fact in three days it will be eight years exactly. I told her I loved her, loved her more then anything I have ever loved then I asked her to leave. I asked for a divorce.
I look over at Abu and he is sleeping. He has the amazing ability to fall asleep with little or no regard for the morning sunrise that now covers the eastern sky. Little puffs of warm dog breath visible in the frozen car. Soon the car will be warm and this moment will disappear like the sunrise.
For one second everything is the way it should be. Then you look away and it fades gently into memory.
I drive toward Tammy's house. I had ever intention of going there. I promised i would, but somehow i just kept heading west into the mountains.
I was in my truck and it is not the snow hound "george" is. It was stuck quickly in ankle deep snow. So i got out and started walking. Abu trailing behind.
Soon however he was not happy with being in the snow. He is a small dog and the cold finds him quickly. As i looked down at him i knew he would go on as far as i wanted. He was shivering. So i tied the waistband on my jacket and placed him inside with his head sticking out and ice cold paws digging into my side.
I come from the cold mountains. I miss them. I miss my dogs, my home and my way of life. When I was young all my energy centered on leaving. On condemning old people for living in old ways. I know that I would have suffocated a slow death if I stayed, but that does not stop my wanting to have those days and that life again.
I made out with a couple of girls tonight. Slow teasing tongues and gentle caresses. Kissing with one friend until another protests. Non-sexual yet sensual all mixed up in the bizarre little world I make. Some girl I never met before decided she wanted some also so off to the corner I went. Dark glaring eyes of friends left out of the fun trailing me. I left her there. She wanted to much, more than I can give.
Its been 8 years since I have looked a women in the face and told her I loved her. In fact in three days it will be eight years exactly. I told her I loved her, loved her more then anything I have ever loved then I asked her to leave. I asked for a divorce.
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rae:
hey hey hey
lunna:
Thank You for being a great friend! 