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ebmfreak

Member Since 2003

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Thursday Aug 07, 2003

Aug 7, 2003
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Why is it we lash out at the ones we love when most in need?

Lately I have found myself fast becomming a personality type I loathe. There is some transparent stress on my life that I can not place what is causing it.

As a result i have been finding myself to be increasingly argumentative and contradictory towards all my friends - and most importantly the people I love.

This has actually only happened while consuming alcohol... and it is leading me to wonder if this change is going to be permanent? If so - I am going to have to cut out consumption 100% because i NEVER used to be like this... never.

I'd rather be Sober and be me - than be someone who starts pointless arguments and verbally lashes out towards his friends while drinking.

Maybe its temporary until whatever is stressing me out goes away...

Whatever the case - I am not drinking anymore until I figure it out. It worries me that I can even be that cruel... it is so uncharacteristic that I am honestly frightened.

What if something is seriously wrong with me now? If my brain chemistry changed and I don't realize it... am I still me? Or am I destined to be this greater asshole? Why now? What brought this on?

I am honestly worried... and for the first time - a little scared.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
fallen1carus:
forgive my ignorance, but what is a "banner night"? i think i've got a hint of it through the jouranl.

now i feel bad. i start pointless arguments all the time. i love to argue. i suppose the difference is that there's a line between sarcastic fights and just being an asshole. i'm glad you see it.

good luck....
Aug 7, 2003
imogen1:
Not only is tiredness going around Madison, but so is the
asshole bug.
Both seem to be catching like wildfire. I'm sure you have
nothing to worry about.
Half of my friends I talk to have noticed wierd differences
in the basic way they interact with their friends, not only
when drunk. I think it's something to do with the rather
temperate summer we are having. If the weather is not
acting up, then everything else needs to.
Aug 7, 2003

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