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In other research news, mathematicians recently took the bold step of proving mathematically what we've already known for centuries; women are pure evil. The complex mathematical steps are shown here:

First, we establish that women consume at a rate equivalent to themselves, time and money. Each is irreconcilably tied to the other, and we obtain:

women = time X money



Next, we observe the old proverb, "Time is Money" to obtain:



time = money



Simple substitution and algebra then turn our original equation into:



women = money X money
or
women = money2



Next, we refer to another proverb, "Money is the root of all evil" to obtain:



money = √all evil



Again, we refer to substitution to obtain:



women = (√all evil)2



And the square of a radical is equal to what's under the radical, giving us the final answer:



women = all evil



Mathematicians have refused to comment on the implications of having a world full of purely evil women and electric rats at the same time. Well, not really mathematicians; math majors at my college who I asked about the problem. Well, not really math majors perse, but guys who can do math. At least, I assume they can do math, since they're communications majors, and sometimes you have to tell people things that include numbers in them. But is their reluctance to comment on the approaching women/rat apocalypse a sign that you should start burying canned food in your yard and building concrete walls between you and your neighbors? According to experts, no. But according to better and more accreditted experts, also no.



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