eatmoregreens

i don't like to be sick. or taking medicine.
when i was little and i get fevers, i have these dreams of things, how to say. gosh its hard to put it in words. like things becoming faster and faster and faster but at the same time its the same rhythm. or things becoming bigger and bigger but then something tiny is supporting it. just like really out of proportion and that extremely contradicting and uneasy feeling. when my grandfather that i don't remember died, i had a dream that he came to me and asked for his glasses. it turned out that they forgot to burn his glasses with him. my mom told me this to tell me i have a weird thing with dreams. and that i should be careful. when i was younger i used to feel that my bed shakes at night. i was abit terrified. she came and "anointed" the bed with olive oil. said a prayer. it stopped. i don't know. i could just be crazy... i don't like sore throats. i don't think i like any kind of sickness. i don't like throwing up. i think that kept me from becoming bulimic. its funny this dictionary i have defines bulimia as, an unusual love for reading and such. or high hunger.... in this chinese movie "alive" this bum guy who's been starving for a long time, one day because someone had a bunch of food available for him ate like seven of those white buns (they're chinese i don't know how to say them in english) and i think he drank some water and died. cuz his hunger was bigger than his stomach and the water expanded the starch. i hate things that are too long but what the heck i have bunch of thoughts that may just flew away so i might as well type away. i feel emotional pain is worse than physical. physical pain tend to get more sympathy. cuz its more obvious. anyhow. painnumbers are sorta dangerous. sometimes. have u not completely lived until u've killed? i've wanted to see how prison's like (i mean i think its not As bad for female) but i don't think killing... anyhow. i haven't even shot a gun. what am i talkin about.