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earthbeard

United Kingdom

Member Since 2003

Followers 7 Following 7

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Monday Apr 19, 2004

Apr 19, 2004
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i've been in one of the worst downers of my entire life today.
after suffering froma 4 day migraine that just won't go away, i've struggled out of bed and into work, despite feeling and thinking that life itself is no longer worth the hassle or trouble of living.
why i've been feeling so down i cant seem to palce my finger, but my once supreme arrogant slef belive in myself has failed and all i have left is depression and lack of any kind of confidence! i'm slowly pushing away those i care for and that show me care, but it seems far too late to stop myself? why do i have to be so self defeatist and mess up everything i want to be happy over? i don't know?
all i know is the darkness inside me is gettin bigger by the day, and there is so little light left for me to see.
i am one day going to sort myself out, but its so hard when all i see is horror and death, and no next to most my life will neevr really mean anything.

so i leave another depressing journal for the world.

hello, to my few friends that exist on here, i understand if you're too busy or unwilling to post on my journal.
(this comment doesn't mean you shoudl leave one just to cheer me up, i feel my moods beyond that)

love, hugs and peace to you all.

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