dyspnea

my best moments are bittersweet nostalgia;
memories of the excitement of new love
and the pain of love lost -
exploration, discovery, disaster, decay:
i smile as i cry and laugh as tears fall.
happiness has a rough edge.

my worst moments are nauseating fear and loathing;
hateful thoughts of wrongs comitted
and sins spoken aloud -
muttering, nightsweats, insomnia:
i scream in myself to stop my unsettled mind.
fear is a blunt instrument.



Out of Context.
---------------

Solitary
tear falls
silently
observed only
by the
innocent
cruel eyes
of a cat

a cold
wind blows
while
the sun shines.