dyspnea

im about to get tattoed.... fuck yeah... love life?

im drunk... i still hate you tristan

I don't need anything.

Everywhere I go
Everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I'm so broken
Why am I so cold
Why I'm so hard inside.
Why am I scared
What am I afraid of
I don't even know
This story's never had an end
I've been waiting
I've been searching
I've been hoping...
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alot of craziness going on lately. trying to heal a stupid fucking broken heart!!!!!

so i live here... broken... waiting for him

write more later

You're the good things yeah that's you...
You're the icing on the cake on the table at my wake
You're the extra ton of cash on my sinking life raft
You're the loud sound of fun when I'm trying to sleep
You're the flowers on my table when my allergies come out
You're the good things...
And help's not short when you're diggin' your grave...
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so much for that section of the program...so instead a short bit about
the milkman...

in the cold mornings the milkman seems to have fallen victim to some
manner of milky madness, bringing milk sporadically on days when it is
not supposed to come...
and even when it is supposed to have stopped. it turns out however
that he is on vacation and has somebody...
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i bring absolutely nothing to the table

my best moments are bittersweet nostalgia;
memories of the excitement of new love
and the pain of love lost -
exploration, discovery, disaster, decay:
i smile as i cry and laugh as tears fall.
happiness has a rough edge.

my worst moments are nauseating fear and loathing;
hateful thoughts of wrongs comitted
and sins spoken aloud -
muttering, nightsweats, insomnia:
i scream in myself to...
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blah

DON'T - try to be the ONE - person
Who has STAYED - just to say
They never left me!
Aggravated, complicated, someone say it
God, I never learn

I have nothing left for you
you left me with nothing

(sometimes I think I'm crazy; other times I know I'm not)