I have to keep up with this thing or Jasperellah will hunt me down and kill me...
Well, today started out great. I slept over Sunny's last night and I spent most of the day with her playing video games and um, other activities. I left around 4ish because her mom would be getting home soon and she had to go to guitar lessons.
So I came home and listened to music and checked email, and then I finished the rest of Go Ask Alice. It was inspiring to me in a way. Nothing about the drug use since I don't use but the fact that she was so determined to do certain things and could feel so alive at times after all the crap she's been through. So I felt good. I felt alive like there was so many things to do and I actually WANTED to do them. That's a rare thing for me. I'm usually very unmotivated to do anything non drum or Sunny related.
So then I did a little snare drum workout and took a shower. I called Sunny about 7:45 to see if she was feeling better cuz she wasn't feeling too well but she was in tears and told me she couldn't talk. I asked if it was because she wasn't feeling well and she said no and that she'd call me tomorrow. I asked if she could call me later tonight and she said that she can't and she'd call me tomorrow so I said I love you and she said bye and hung up. :\ I assume maybe her mom or someone was around and she couldn't say she loves me too so that's not even an issue cuz I know she does. I'm just so worried about her now. It could be anything. The first thing that came to mind was that her parents found out about us or maybe something bad happened to someone in her family or her dog or something. I don't know. I just hope she's ok and nothing gives her reason to cut again. I just want her to be happy and bullshit free. I can't go the rest of the night without knowing if she's ok. I'll try to call her in a few hours.
I don't feel so alive anymore... :\
Well, today started out great. I slept over Sunny's last night and I spent most of the day with her playing video games and um, other activities. I left around 4ish because her mom would be getting home soon and she had to go to guitar lessons.
So I came home and listened to music and checked email, and then I finished the rest of Go Ask Alice. It was inspiring to me in a way. Nothing about the drug use since I don't use but the fact that she was so determined to do certain things and could feel so alive at times after all the crap she's been through. So I felt good. I felt alive like there was so many things to do and I actually WANTED to do them. That's a rare thing for me. I'm usually very unmotivated to do anything non drum or Sunny related.
So then I did a little snare drum workout and took a shower. I called Sunny about 7:45 to see if she was feeling better cuz she wasn't feeling too well but she was in tears and told me she couldn't talk. I asked if it was because she wasn't feeling well and she said no and that she'd call me tomorrow. I asked if she could call me later tonight and she said that she can't and she'd call me tomorrow so I said I love you and she said bye and hung up. :\ I assume maybe her mom or someone was around and she couldn't say she loves me too so that's not even an issue cuz I know she does. I'm just so worried about her now. It could be anything. The first thing that came to mind was that her parents found out about us or maybe something bad happened to someone in her family or her dog or something. I don't know. I just hope she's ok and nothing gives her reason to cut again. I just want her to be happy and bullshit free. I can't go the rest of the night without knowing if she's ok. I'll try to call her in a few hours.
I don't feel so alive anymore... :\