dylan

I'm trying to pack all my worldly belongings into cardboard boxes. I didn't realise just how much STUFF I have. Where did it all come from? Why did I feel the need to keep it all? What possible use do I have for 73 odd socks? Why can I not bear to part with several hideous items of clothing that I have never worn? Exactly when will that unidentifiable pink thing come in handy? If I were to stash a dead body in the Big Yellow Storage Company, how long would it be til someone found it? In fact, forget dead bodies, could I live in there until I find somewhere new? I'm sure with the right combination of hot beverages, dirty beats and assorted blankets it could be rather homely.

On the subject of hot beverages, emptying my cupboards has revealed a slightly ridiculous addiction on my part. I've found Classic Blend Medium Roast, Italian Blend Rich Roast, and Kilimanjaro ground coffees (all fairtrade, I'll have you know). I've also found Chinese Ginseng coffee, Cadbury's Hot Chocolate and several sachets of Options and Highlights in various flavours (including, but not limited to, hazelnut, mint and caramel). Obviously we then get into tea, and your choice is between Twinings Every Day (it was on offer - watching Stephen Fry do those adverts kills me a little inside every time I see one. Why Stephen? Why?!), Lapsang Souchong, Jasmine, Green Tea, Green Tea with Mango, Chai teabags and Chai Latte and some loose PG tips that seem to have been hanging around for a while behind some tins of bamboo shoots (why I have tins of bamboo is a complete mystery. Stocking up in order to appease our future panda overlords). Also some unidentifiable sachets of assorted tea-type products in Chinese. I don't know what they are, but after trying one my conclusion is that at least one of them is possibly instant dish water, infused with the gentle hint of socks.