Friday Jan 20, 2006

0
I haven't slept in about a week.
Except for maybe a couple of hours in the afternoons drifting off in front of the xbox.
I just finished reading the shittiest book I have ever read. Something white cover with embossed pink curly writing, a supremely hideous example of chick lit, in which it was apparent exactly what would happen by page four of the masterpiece the tomboyish heroine would get a makeover, go too far, be hurt by someone else, then realise that she should be herself, while keeping enough of the makeup to attract her male best friend who it turns out, always loved her really, and of course, shell set up her own business, because a strong woman does not need a man to get by in the world. Though of course shell get one. Because shes actually really gorgeous, naturally, and doesnt need all that make over bollocks to prove it. Now, wheres my vomit emoticon?

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Do you ever get it, where some thought or other just wont leave you alone? I have something on my mind that just wont go away. If I think about it, it turns into an avalanche, and I get buried under it. During the day I can drown it out. I make tea, I play computer games, I read comics, I find books I havent yet read, I surf the internet without ever really looking at anything, I google everything, I click link after link on Wikipedia and the IMDB, I become engrossed in online RPGs, click click click and I can drown my thoughts with a comforting layer of white noise static and keep going.
Its when I try to sleep that the problems start. In bed alone in the dark (and Ive never been very good with the dark on my own, which at 21 is a slightly embarrassing admission - blame it on an over active imagination and having too many weird shaped shadows) all I can hear is this one little thing nagging away at me. So, I dont sleep. I stay up. I play more computer games. The Sims 2, Dungeon Keeper, Command and Conquer. 3 for 10 deals on shitty games really saved my life. Xbox. I delete files from my computer. I play with screen savers. I read every book I can get my hands on., hence the pile of shit that called itself a book I just finished. Wait, let me name and shame it..."Tuesday's Child". The title has nothing to do with the book, which leaves me with a horrible sneaking suspicion she may have written six others in a very similar vein.

And now its daytime again, which means I can justifiably get out of bed and make a cup of tea and some toast and then wander out into town. I should be looking for a job, but I cant face it. Instead Im filling time by filling time opticians appointments, hair appointments, supermarket, searching through Poundland in search of elusive white chocolate finger biscuits. They don't exist, but I SWEAR I've seen them.
Mmmm. Biscuits.
I am so tired.



You know, I still don't know how to make spoiler tags, so count this as an experiment.



Also...I keep seeing big spiders out of the corner of my eye, which disappear when I look around. Either there's a huge spider army playing hide and seek in my bedroom, or I'm cracking up. I don't know which I'd prefer, I mean it'd be a relief not to be losing my mind, but I really hate spiders.

VIEW 25 of 82 COMMENTS
summer:
Of course, i used to do it when i ran to meet my mum at the end of school. She must've been so proud.
the_shine:
Nice quote about the mums and the bottoms!!!

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