So last night it occurred to me that I had completely forgotten that this past Wednesday was the anniversary of my friend Tracy's death and now I feel like a big jerk. I had thought on and off about this throughout the year and it just bothers me that I would forget on the actual day.
This was the first time in my life that I lost a friend. I have had family members die but it never hit me as much as this. Probably because she was so young, it was 4 months before her 20th birthday and all. It just seemed so unfair to me. She was a beautiful person who loved life and was always happy.
Our friendship was an interesting one. We had met on a chance encounter. I was in Daytona with some friends and she was there with her family and friends because their parents owned boats that were in some show. We had briefly talked to them earlier in the night from our separate cars and then went on our separate ways. I kept saying that we should have just hung out with those girls. We ended up finding them later and hung out for the rest of the night and came back the next night. I had only seen her one other time since then but we had kept in touch through AIM.
I had a HUGE crush on her. My friend had one on her friend but he was dating someone and then when he was single, the other girl got a bf. Behind my back, he ended up dating Tracy. He told me he had went on A date with her and then it turned out that it had been 3. I was obviously upset. He told me they weren't serious or anything but then the next day decided to become exclusive so I had no idea what to believe.
A month later she disappeared and broke up with him through lack of contact. Turned out that she didn't wanna deal with the distance (a good 50+ or so miles between us) and didn't wanna hurt him, so she just went away. It was because of her hurting my friend that we didn't talk as much after that. And I really do regret that now.
After I found out about her death and learned of candlelighting, funeral, viewing, etc. I figured my friend and I would go together. He said he didn't want to go because he didn't want his last memory of her to be like that. So I made the 100+ mile roundtrip three times that week even though I didn't know any of her family or friends, outside of the one that I had met. The only part that was really tough was when it dawned on me that the 4th time I would ever see her would be at her funeral. And then realizing that it was the only time that I ever saw her without a smile on her face.
To add a little bit of mystery to the story. My friend, the one she dated, was in a really bad motorcycle accident around 10 days later. He was going around 80 down a road without a helmet and lost control. With all of that, he should be dead. But by some divine intervention, he only came out with a broken arm, road rash, and assorted cuts and bruises. It's almost like she was watching him.
I'm sorry that my entry was so long and this probably won't even stay up that long because I couldn't stand to look at it for so long but I just needed to get it off my chest.
This was the first time in my life that I lost a friend. I have had family members die but it never hit me as much as this. Probably because she was so young, it was 4 months before her 20th birthday and all. It just seemed so unfair to me. She was a beautiful person who loved life and was always happy.
Our friendship was an interesting one. We had met on a chance encounter. I was in Daytona with some friends and she was there with her family and friends because their parents owned boats that were in some show. We had briefly talked to them earlier in the night from our separate cars and then went on our separate ways. I kept saying that we should have just hung out with those girls. We ended up finding them later and hung out for the rest of the night and came back the next night. I had only seen her one other time since then but we had kept in touch through AIM.
I had a HUGE crush on her. My friend had one on her friend but he was dating someone and then when he was single, the other girl got a bf. Behind my back, he ended up dating Tracy. He told me he had went on A date with her and then it turned out that it had been 3. I was obviously upset. He told me they weren't serious or anything but then the next day decided to become exclusive so I had no idea what to believe.
A month later she disappeared and broke up with him through lack of contact. Turned out that she didn't wanna deal with the distance (a good 50+ or so miles between us) and didn't wanna hurt him, so she just went away. It was because of her hurting my friend that we didn't talk as much after that. And I really do regret that now.
After I found out about her death and learned of candlelighting, funeral, viewing, etc. I figured my friend and I would go together. He said he didn't want to go because he didn't want his last memory of her to be like that. So I made the 100+ mile roundtrip three times that week even though I didn't know any of her family or friends, outside of the one that I had met. The only part that was really tough was when it dawned on me that the 4th time I would ever see her would be at her funeral. And then realizing that it was the only time that I ever saw her without a smile on her face.
To add a little bit of mystery to the story. My friend, the one she dated, was in a really bad motorcycle accident around 10 days later. He was going around 80 down a road without a helmet and lost control. With all of that, he should be dead. But by some divine intervention, he only came out with a broken arm, road rash, and assorted cuts and bruises. It's almost like she was watching him.
I'm sorry that my entry was so long and this probably won't even stay up that long because I couldn't stand to look at it for so long but I just needed to get it off my chest.
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Happy Tuesday