ok, it's been over a month...bad nikki!...just plain old BAD! so spank me, lol.
things are good, but i'm ma$$ively broke. just dropped my ex's computer off at the pawn shop so i could pay my rent. so of course, he mails me today to say he's gonna need it to upload his new ipod...murphy is laughing his ass off at me right now... screw it, he can get it outta pawn if he needs it that bad. i was planning on getting it next week after i get paid anyways...oh well, what are ya gonna do? still thinking about pawning his stereo...screw it, if he's gonna leave it at the house for months on end n i'm tired of looking at it...screw him!
cowboy...mmm, cowboy is good. d put him on the spot as to whether he n i are official last saturday night, n he said we'd talk about it later...late has come n went. i'm kinda on the fence about it, cuz on the one hand(bear with me, there are lots of hands here) he has flat out told me his cock belongs to me(hmmm, penis ownership) so that has to be a good sign, right? on the other hand, we were talking one night n i was going out with the grrlies n he was telling me to flaunt it so i'd get guys to buy me drinks(which is so not my thing, if i'm with you, i'm with you n i do't flirt...)n during that conversation, i told him it all belonged to him n he responded, "ah hell grrl, i know it's all mine.", so he knows i'm all his, and that's a good thing, right? then there's this other hand(are you keeping up, we're on our third hand) where his two best friends couldn't believe that he was trying to take me to disneyland with his family, thus i would have met his parents had i been able to go(i had a wedding that day that i simply couldn't miss)...they were SHOCKED that he was going to introduce me to his parents, apparently he NEVER introduces grrlz to his parents, so in their estimation, his wanting me to meet the parents was a great thing. and there's this other mysterious hand(ok, that's 4 hands now) where i know where he is 24 hours a day...just out of courtesy...so if he was trying to screw around i honestly can't imagine when he would have the time. 5th hand, he was teasing me about getting me into some ridiculous sex position that he swears if we work on it for a couple years i can get into it and then we can take pics and use it for our xms card...in a couple years...xms cards...in a couple years....hmmm, a good thing, right? hand 6, he has shown off a pic of me in a bikini top on his phone...to some other grrl, so yes, i know he's proud of me n he likes "showing me off" which seems silly to me...but hey, i'll take it! i'd like to think we're solid n everything is cool, and i'm sure we are cuz everything feels good, but i guess i'm just sorta wanting a little reassurance from him. i know, everyone that knows both of us says we're fine, but after the ex, i'm just so fukking jaded about this shit, like i can't trust any man once he's out of my line of sight. i know it sounds horrible and i'm trying my damndest to not punish him for the past actions of others, and hell, he may be totally unaware of all this shit going on inside my broken little brain.
speaking of my broken little brain...things have been going pretty good. halloween is coming, which always renders me on a pretty high note, so i don't foresee any bipolar crashees coming anytime soon. the money thing is sucking, but i know i'll get past it...it's just money...
omg! rochellie's wedding was the best and i finally got to meet her sister! such a great day, all halloweenie n just cool! i am so happy for her!
things are good, but i'm ma$$ively broke. just dropped my ex's computer off at the pawn shop so i could pay my rent. so of course, he mails me today to say he's gonna need it to upload his new ipod...murphy is laughing his ass off at me right now... screw it, he can get it outta pawn if he needs it that bad. i was planning on getting it next week after i get paid anyways...oh well, what are ya gonna do? still thinking about pawning his stereo...screw it, if he's gonna leave it at the house for months on end n i'm tired of looking at it...screw him!
cowboy...mmm, cowboy is good. d put him on the spot as to whether he n i are official last saturday night, n he said we'd talk about it later...late has come n went. i'm kinda on the fence about it, cuz on the one hand(bear with me, there are lots of hands here) he has flat out told me his cock belongs to me(hmmm, penis ownership) so that has to be a good sign, right? on the other hand, we were talking one night n i was going out with the grrlies n he was telling me to flaunt it so i'd get guys to buy me drinks(which is so not my thing, if i'm with you, i'm with you n i do't flirt...)n during that conversation, i told him it all belonged to him n he responded, "ah hell grrl, i know it's all mine.", so he knows i'm all his, and that's a good thing, right? then there's this other hand(are you keeping up, we're on our third hand) where his two best friends couldn't believe that he was trying to take me to disneyland with his family, thus i would have met his parents had i been able to go(i had a wedding that day that i simply couldn't miss)...they were SHOCKED that he was going to introduce me to his parents, apparently he NEVER introduces grrlz to his parents, so in their estimation, his wanting me to meet the parents was a great thing. and there's this other mysterious hand(ok, that's 4 hands now) where i know where he is 24 hours a day...just out of courtesy...so if he was trying to screw around i honestly can't imagine when he would have the time. 5th hand, he was teasing me about getting me into some ridiculous sex position that he swears if we work on it for a couple years i can get into it and then we can take pics and use it for our xms card...in a couple years...xms cards...in a couple years....hmmm, a good thing, right? hand 6, he has shown off a pic of me in a bikini top on his phone...to some other grrl, so yes, i know he's proud of me n he likes "showing me off" which seems silly to me...but hey, i'll take it! i'd like to think we're solid n everything is cool, and i'm sure we are cuz everything feels good, but i guess i'm just sorta wanting a little reassurance from him. i know, everyone that knows both of us says we're fine, but after the ex, i'm just so fukking jaded about this shit, like i can't trust any man once he's out of my line of sight. i know it sounds horrible and i'm trying my damndest to not punish him for the past actions of others, and hell, he may be totally unaware of all this shit going on inside my broken little brain.
speaking of my broken little brain...things have been going pretty good. halloween is coming, which always renders me on a pretty high note, so i don't foresee any bipolar crashees coming anytime soon. the money thing is sucking, but i know i'll get past it...it's just money...
omg! rochellie's wedding was the best and i finally got to meet her sister! such a great day, all halloweenie n just cool! i am so happy for her!
norn:
thank you very much for the comment on my set!