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..........................well, my mom is still dying in brazil missing me and i hope she conjures a way to bring me back there for two months. i need a break from everything. i'm still stunned how much of a low point i've gotten and right before i really started smoothing things down financially. i will never forgive my father for as long as i live. i...
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got a job at mcd's. again. will start monday. they'll pay me more that the orem one did. i'm still looking for a better job but im happy i'll start work soon. it has gotten really warm here and i've even been wearing my dickies. i love it. i'm 98% cured, im just hoping to spend this month catching up on bill then start saving...
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really missing san diego here...........in the final stages of my sickness, hopefully before the end of this year my throat will stop hurting and i'll be able to consume liquids and food like a regular human being. i still feel out of place here but chatting with raul and heidi which are my last two friends ever cheered me up. no job yet but my...
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it's official--moved to salt lake. the place isn't the best but at least i found something. i'm glad to be here with Tessa even though one of her roommates is being a drama queen because she doesn't have a boyfriend. half way done with my church ordeal. all i need is to get a signature from my stake presidency and i'm done--forever with the mormon...
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less than a week to move out. no place. tessa doesn't like the fact i'm a member of SG. i met her through this website and she also held a membership. funny. tomorrow orientation at fedex, let's see. i'm super prepared. still cold as hell. have been eating a lot of junk food. my father did it again. he knows how to get to me....
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can't believe it has been a week since i posted. well still looking for places. my roommates are all with this inner tension that i thankfully have nothing to do with, maybe for the fact i have a GIRLFRIEND and that's exactly what they need. my b-day yesterday. 27. wow. absolutely have no recollection of last years b-day. it was my best since forever. spent...
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Utah Retrospective '07;

I already did my 06 retospective. it's time to retrospect Provo/Orem 06/07 5 months in.

4 jobs.

1 move {another on the way}

been cold

been bored

My great girlfriend Tessa that has literally saved my life and kept me alive and positive through past and present shit.

been and am broke {what's new}

lost my Father forever {not to death}

lost...
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how do you keep people happy?

by lying to them.

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Watch me become a living snow mountain
As I become a Walking Grave
A soldier with no desire to kill
Jester with too many tears
That open grave in my graveyard is finally closed,
But you try to come out.
The nurses shift's over
School's out
My mouth is clean and homework done
but I have not graduated.
the murky water that beats ashore
and...
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durpa:
sem voce o que farei?
ja te deixei sozinha doente pra tras
um cavalo velho que nunca sequer ganhou uma corrida.
castelo de pedra, coracao de marmore
perdoe-me querida por que eu falhei
eu me decepciono
sem saber o que fazer
a poeira tapou meu nariz
e secou meus labios
nem um beijo de amor posso te dar.
minhas lagrimas encravadas fundidas nos meus olhos
nao ha mais felicidade, somente a pausa da tristeza.
sem voce nao sou nada
sem voce nao sou nada
sem voce miha vida vale nada.
que floresta encantada
que paisagem maravilhosa
a escuridao do teu quarto com voce
vale mais do que mil por do sois
sem voce eu nao sou ninguem, Tessa.
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I CAN'T EVER WIN!
NEVER!!!
JUST THE SAME FUCKING JERK.