durpa

can't believe it has been a week since i posted. well still looking for places. my roommates are all with this inner tension that i thankfully have nothing to do with, maybe for the fact i have a GIRLFRIEND and that's exactly what they need. my b-day yesterday. 27. wow. absolutely have no recollection of last years b-day. it was my best since forever. spent it with tessa, went to hard rock cafe, not impressed and the waiter couldn't even tell me what grand marnier was. got a Iron Maiden poster from tessa, that fucking rocks. apparently my gay rommate is going to buy the ouse from his brother now, and i think i'm the only one leaving. lots of leads but nothing. friday is my fedex orientation and i'm ready to win. some people remebered my b-day, that's cool. i'm tired though. mcdonald's just sucks. the paycheck was goof for nothing. one thing is to be broke. another is to be broke with money on your wallet. was supposed to work today but schedule was not done in time, called non stop on sunday and monday morning and nobody picked up the phone. so FUCK them. regained my voice a bit but still coughing like a hoarse dog. will get some money from my aunts in brazil for my b day, thats cool, i ate rubios, and that was awesome. taste of san diego, i dont think i will see san diego in a long time---if ever. let's see if i can play in a band in SLC-----i doubtr it. shit the land of mormons really got to me. they really brought me down and took everything away. changed me and scarred me. and i let them. my future is as clear as the midnight sky in ocean beach. the silver lining is there but darkness prevails and the dawn is is a sip of the forbidden chalix of control. i now just repose until i am lost once again in the magical spell of comfort and love in the arms of my lover. that cocoon of safety and mirth. i'm concerned how i'm just with no perspective and no plan.