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durbustweeb

Member Since 2004

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Thursday Apr 05, 2007

Apr 4, 2007
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Got a ticket to the Masters, and what a place it is.

More ugly clothes there than at JC Penney. More overweight white folk than there are seats in (all) Waffle Houses. And oh-my-gosh, how beautiful the grounds are.

Golfers are strange folk. Or perhaps I was the strange one there. While others have their little cameras taking shots of Tiger Woods from about eight miles away, I'm using my heavy-duty telephoto on dogwood flowers fifteen feet away. Phil Mickelson is there putting, but geez, the Wisteria on the trees nearby are amazing.

It's not that I wasn't impressed. I mean, heck, any sport where the guy carrying the bag and pulling clubs out of it gets paid millions must be something, eh? And to be able to hit a little white ball that far and accurately is quite an aspiration. No wonder doctors don't feel like they've accomplished anything until they get somewhere close to par.

I did see a very nice shirt, though, in the pro shop. It was green, with about five stripes, and a price tag that would make the wearer feel either a) like they had arrived for being able to afford it, or b) like a schmuck for paying that much for something they could have gotten at clearance in Target, just without the really cool (hideous) logo. I do admit, though, to almost coughing up for a long sleeve shirt that truly was gorgeous. Instead, I coughed up something else when they said it was $149.

But all in all, walking in the 90 degree, humid and sunny day for a couple/few miles to watch really silly looking men walk hundreds of yards to hit the little ball over and over wasn't totally without merit. I did get to eat a BBQ sandwich made of possum or some other roadkill, something I've never done before. Not everywhere one can get a meal as wretched as that, unless of course one scrapes the floor under the refrigerator and slaps it on a bun with some orange mayonaise.

A memorable event did occur at the 17th green. It involved a yellow (or was it orange) dress with lots of view and no bra. I'm thinking that was the entertainment?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
imp_:
(not at all related to blog commentsmile

you are totally forgiven, no worries ;]
Apr 5, 2007
cklarock:
I'd never even contemplated the existance of golf groupies, but there ya go. I bet they're hotter than heavy metal groupies, but not nearly as hot as spanish soccer groupies.
Apr 5, 2007

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