Sorry...long long venting post.
My Horoscope Yesterday :
Today you will need to deal with one or two relationship issues -- with the same person. It might feel like they are doing everything they can to keep you two from shared happiness, but they are only communicating what they need. You might not like it, but you can't blame them for it. It's time to totally re-evaluate what is going on between you and be brutally honest. Is it time for you to move on to someone who wants more of what you want? Ask them this question and see what they say.
...I was terrified hubbie and I were gonna fight about something bc it's been dead on all month. Boy was I wrong! I got home and my son woke up from his nap sick. Mom hadn't noticed. I told her he felt warm as I was looking for the thermometer. She kept saying stuff like "He wasn't sick when he got home from school." and "I didn't notice him feeling sick.". Which made me feel like she was saying I was wrong.
Finally took his temp, 101.7, laid him in bed, went to get him juice....(He got a letter from school mentioning 11 absences and their concern. A big thing for MD schools...they will actually try to take your child...made the mistake of telling her...so she's neurotic about it now.).... and she starts in saying we'll just watch him over night and see if he's better by morning, getting under my skin again like she's saying I'm still wrong. Then starts going on about how she'll take him to the doctor today to get a note for the school so nothing happens. I told her not to worry about it. If he's sick over the wk end I'll take him and get a note. Then she starts carrying on about "But he's missing a day." I told her if she was that worried about the damned school go ahead and take him to the doctor. She got pissed.
Went upstairs to give the kid his juice and 2 mins later she's coming upstairs, walks past me into his room, feels his head and his back. "Shouldn't you have his jeans and socks off? If he's so hot he shouldn't be wearing all this." I turned to her and told her he's my son, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of him, been doing it for 5 years now, so go back downstairs to HER part of the house and leave me alone. She started saying how she didn't deserve to be treated like that and when I was done being a bitch I could come apologize and walked downstairs.
I sat for a couple mins organizing my thoughts. Yes, I was being sensitive...but I do feel some of her actions were unjust...and Yes, I had run out of my mood stabilizer in my purse pill case and hadn't taken my 2 doses for the day...and Yes, I haven't had a drink in 10 days and am acting bipolar.
I got up went downstairs and told her I was sorry for being a bitch but when I'm moody like this just don't talk to me. Leave me alone. When I say I want to be left alone that's exactly what I mean. Nothing anybody could say to me when I like that can sound positive. She asked me sit down so I did and she told me she was upstairs looking for a missing t-shirt and had found some old empty pints I guess I had forgotten about and thrown them out for me and didn't tell my husband. She said she was on my side, she's trying to help. I said so then you're aware I'm gonna be bitchy off and on? She said she knew that. She said she can see I'm making a genuine effort and trying to get better and I said thanks for noticing. She gave me some chocolate and we made peace.
Today I leave work at 11:30am. I know I can make it home w/o stopping for anything. I'm going tanning and getting my eyebrows waxed. Maybe to the thrift store to grab a couple smaller summer tops since I've lost so much weight. Ya' know, spending the $$$ that would have went to vodka. I think my real motivation is how well hubbie and I have been getting alone. We're laughing and joking but I can see more love in his eyes. And just the fact that he's mounted me twice in this week is motivation enough for me! LOL!
I can do this. I WILL get better,
My Horoscope Yesterday :
Today you will need to deal with one or two relationship issues -- with the same person. It might feel like they are doing everything they can to keep you two from shared happiness, but they are only communicating what they need. You might not like it, but you can't blame them for it. It's time to totally re-evaluate what is going on between you and be brutally honest. Is it time for you to move on to someone who wants more of what you want? Ask them this question and see what they say.
...I was terrified hubbie and I were gonna fight about something bc it's been dead on all month. Boy was I wrong! I got home and my son woke up from his nap sick. Mom hadn't noticed. I told her he felt warm as I was looking for the thermometer. She kept saying stuff like "He wasn't sick when he got home from school." and "I didn't notice him feeling sick.". Which made me feel like she was saying I was wrong.
Finally took his temp, 101.7, laid him in bed, went to get him juice....(He got a letter from school mentioning 11 absences and their concern. A big thing for MD schools...they will actually try to take your child...made the mistake of telling her...so she's neurotic about it now.).... and she starts in saying we'll just watch him over night and see if he's better by morning, getting under my skin again like she's saying I'm still wrong. Then starts going on about how she'll take him to the doctor today to get a note for the school so nothing happens. I told her not to worry about it. If he's sick over the wk end I'll take him and get a note. Then she starts carrying on about "But he's missing a day." I told her if she was that worried about the damned school go ahead and take him to the doctor. She got pissed.
Went upstairs to give the kid his juice and 2 mins later she's coming upstairs, walks past me into his room, feels his head and his back. "Shouldn't you have his jeans and socks off? If he's so hot he shouldn't be wearing all this." I turned to her and told her he's my son, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of him, been doing it for 5 years now, so go back downstairs to HER part of the house and leave me alone. She started saying how she didn't deserve to be treated like that and when I was done being a bitch I could come apologize and walked downstairs.
I sat for a couple mins organizing my thoughts. Yes, I was being sensitive...but I do feel some of her actions were unjust...and Yes, I had run out of my mood stabilizer in my purse pill case and hadn't taken my 2 doses for the day...and Yes, I haven't had a drink in 10 days and am acting bipolar.
I got up went downstairs and told her I was sorry for being a bitch but when I'm moody like this just don't talk to me. Leave me alone. When I say I want to be left alone that's exactly what I mean. Nothing anybody could say to me when I like that can sound positive. She asked me sit down so I did and she told me she was upstairs looking for a missing t-shirt and had found some old empty pints I guess I had forgotten about and thrown them out for me and didn't tell my husband. She said she was on my side, she's trying to help. I said so then you're aware I'm gonna be bitchy off and on? She said she knew that. She said she can see I'm making a genuine effort and trying to get better and I said thanks for noticing. She gave me some chocolate and we made peace.
Today I leave work at 11:30am. I know I can make it home w/o stopping for anything. I'm going tanning and getting my eyebrows waxed. Maybe to the thrift store to grab a couple smaller summer tops since I've lost so much weight. Ya' know, spending the $$$ that would have went to vodka. I think my real motivation is how well hubbie and I have been getting alone. We're laughing and joking but I can see more love in his eyes. And just the fact that he's mounted me twice in this week is motivation enough for me! LOL!
I can do this. I WILL get better,
frida_13:
things will get different. I am proud of you for making an effort, it isn't east but it is worth it. YOU are worth the effort.