OK, I know I'm late to the game. Don't judge.
Lately, I've caught a few episodes of the show Californication. Tonight we noticed one of the characters looking at a very familiar website. (Hint: you are also looking at it right now.) Jhay did some quick googling and found this:
DaniCA even has a profile still (though no set).
But this one little thing seemed to turn my world around.
At first I was a little sad or offended that the site isn't so "underground" anymore. I mean I'm aware that by the time I joined, people knew about it and it was a pop culture reference. (See also: The Venture Bros.) But I guess I was still holding on to the fantasy that it was like a secret club that only cool people knew about, and only even cooler people were a part of.
I love this community and after all, I am a Hopeful. The thing is, lately I've been ready to chuck my hopeful status. I was pretty sure that after my set comes out this coming Sunday I was done shooting. I'm tired of the petty bickering, the popularity contests, etc. Not to mention that getting ahold of a staff photographer seems the only way to get a set purchased, and I'm just naked on the internet for free because I can't get in contact with one. I just didn't think I had what it takes - I'm not SG material. Yes, I doubted myself.
But as I watched the above clip, I realized how much respect I have for Missy and how I *do* want to become one of these legendary women. Being a Suicide Girl is an honor. It takes a lot of fucking work to become an SG, but once you are one, it IS like being part of the secret club that I mentioned above. Sure, they're mentioned in "mainstream" media, but these women are themselves. They can't be thrown into a box together and categorized and generalized. They are smart, confident, creative, and goddam hot. They are more than models, as this site has proven.
So I do want to keep trying. I don't know if this set will do it for me - in fact, I'm almost sure it won't - but that just means next time I shoot I'll have to try even harder. I need to place this blog aside for myself so that when I start getting down about the whole thing again, I can look at it and remember why I joined this site in the first place. Even if I never make it to SG status, I know that I'm trying. I have something to aspire to. I have women (many of whom are my friends and hopefully reading this blog) that inspire me. Even though being a Suicide Girl means being an individual, I want to be one of them.
Edited to add: I just saw Missy's pictures from ComiCon. I want to be part of that for sure.
/essay
ps - That wasn't me subtley fishing for compliments or reassurance, so please no "I'm sure u will b pink soon!!!!" - type comments. Unless you're staff, and I get stars next to my pictures. In that case, please use better grammar.
Lately, I've caught a few episodes of the show Californication. Tonight we noticed one of the characters looking at a very familiar website. (Hint: you are also looking at it right now.) Jhay did some quick googling and found this:
DaniCA even has a profile still (though no set).
But this one little thing seemed to turn my world around.
At first I was a little sad or offended that the site isn't so "underground" anymore. I mean I'm aware that by the time I joined, people knew about it and it was a pop culture reference. (See also: The Venture Bros.) But I guess I was still holding on to the fantasy that it was like a secret club that only cool people knew about, and only even cooler people were a part of.
I love this community and after all, I am a Hopeful. The thing is, lately I've been ready to chuck my hopeful status. I was pretty sure that after my set comes out this coming Sunday I was done shooting. I'm tired of the petty bickering, the popularity contests, etc. Not to mention that getting ahold of a staff photographer seems the only way to get a set purchased, and I'm just naked on the internet for free because I can't get in contact with one. I just didn't think I had what it takes - I'm not SG material. Yes, I doubted myself.
But as I watched the above clip, I realized how much respect I have for Missy and how I *do* want to become one of these legendary women. Being a Suicide Girl is an honor. It takes a lot of fucking work to become an SG, but once you are one, it IS like being part of the secret club that I mentioned above. Sure, they're mentioned in "mainstream" media, but these women are themselves. They can't be thrown into a box together and categorized and generalized. They are smart, confident, creative, and goddam hot. They are more than models, as this site has proven.
So I do want to keep trying. I don't know if this set will do it for me - in fact, I'm almost sure it won't - but that just means next time I shoot I'll have to try even harder. I need to place this blog aside for myself so that when I start getting down about the whole thing again, I can look at it and remember why I joined this site in the first place. Even if I never make it to SG status, I know that I'm trying. I have something to aspire to. I have women (many of whom are my friends and hopefully reading this blog) that inspire me. Even though being a Suicide Girl means being an individual, I want to be one of them.
Edited to add: I just saw Missy's pictures from ComiCon. I want to be part of that for sure.
/essay
ps - That wasn't me subtley fishing for compliments or reassurance, so please no "I'm sure u will b pink soon!!!!" - type comments. Unless you're staff, and I get stars next to my pictures. In that case, please use better grammar.
VIEW 25 of 57 COMMENTS
fisherman404:
I like the fighting spirit. I enjoy Californication too.
nacho1:
weird science...how could i forget another classic movie. cant wait for sunday. you are rad!!