The last time I heard his voice, he was laughing.
He called to see if I "was a popsicle yet" and the conversation turned to doggie snow angels and the upcoming inauguration. I made a joke about President Bush (an Onion headline from a coupla years ago) and he laughed really hard. It was a great conversation, and I remarked on how good he sounded. It didn't occur to either of us that 6 hours later, he would be dead.
I got a call at 3am (midnight CA time) that my dad had had a heart attack. He didn't make it. Ironic that just months ago he had beaten cancer.
I spent the rest of that night crying in Jhay's arms. I was scheduled to work the next morning, but found it really hard. I tried as hard as I could to keep myself distracted, but there was still the occasional breakdown. Thankfully I only had to be there for about an hour and a half before RahRah came to cover me. I went home and curled up on the couch and watched mindless tv in between phone calls with my family. I was worried about how I was going to get out there, but luckily my stepsister had some airline miles she could use for me.
My BFF will be making 6+ hour drive from the Bay Area to come up and see me. I didn't ask her to, but I'm certainly not going to stop her (especially since Jhay isn't able to come with). I am going to sneak off to stay in her hotel with her though because I'm sure being in the house will be a little hard, even with all my family there. (It won't be the whole time - BFF will only be there a coupla days.)
But I'm thankful for many things. Mostly that last conversation, but also that my dad and my boyfriend got to meet, and they got along famously. Dad always made sure to ask about Jhay when he called, and "be sure to tell him hi from me." He didn't do that with my xbf. I am sad that my dad won't be walking me down the aisle when I get married, or meet his future grandkids from me. I know he'll be there in spirit, but it's not the same. He did get to walk my sister down, so I'm also glad for that. In fact, the last time I saw him was at my sister's wedding, which was a very happy event.
So if I'm MIA for a little while, you understand why.
He called to see if I "was a popsicle yet" and the conversation turned to doggie snow angels and the upcoming inauguration. I made a joke about President Bush (an Onion headline from a coupla years ago) and he laughed really hard. It was a great conversation, and I remarked on how good he sounded. It didn't occur to either of us that 6 hours later, he would be dead.
I got a call at 3am (midnight CA time) that my dad had had a heart attack. He didn't make it. Ironic that just months ago he had beaten cancer.
I spent the rest of that night crying in Jhay's arms. I was scheduled to work the next morning, but found it really hard. I tried as hard as I could to keep myself distracted, but there was still the occasional breakdown. Thankfully I only had to be there for about an hour and a half before RahRah came to cover me. I went home and curled up on the couch and watched mindless tv in between phone calls with my family. I was worried about how I was going to get out there, but luckily my stepsister had some airline miles she could use for me.
My BFF will be making 6+ hour drive from the Bay Area to come up and see me. I didn't ask her to, but I'm certainly not going to stop her (especially since Jhay isn't able to come with). I am going to sneak off to stay in her hotel with her though because I'm sure being in the house will be a little hard, even with all my family there. (It won't be the whole time - BFF will only be there a coupla days.)
But I'm thankful for many things. Mostly that last conversation, but also that my dad and my boyfriend got to meet, and they got along famously. Dad always made sure to ask about Jhay when he called, and "be sure to tell him hi from me." He didn't do that with my xbf. I am sad that my dad won't be walking me down the aisle when I get married, or meet his future grandkids from me. I know he'll be there in spirit, but it's not the same. He did get to walk my sister down, so I'm also glad for that. In fact, the last time I saw him was at my sister's wedding, which was a very happy event.
So if I'm MIA for a little while, you understand why.
VIEW 25 of 38 COMMENTS
pelin:
Ohhhh...sweetheart....I am so sorry! You are in my thoughts and prayers. *HUGS*
rayraythemanape:
I'm so sorry...