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drwholigan

Phoenix

Member Since 2011

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Sunday Oct 23, 2011

Oct 23, 2011
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oooookay

this has been a shitty couple of days.

No Snoop Dogg.

No Mormon Bachelor Party.

I've been feeling like shit for quite some time now.

And then got a letter from City of PHX that someone complained that our yard was bad and about the dead palm tree in our front yard.

Now, let me explain...
Yes our yard sucks. Most of the time. That's what happens when you live around some retirees that spend fuckloads of time on their yards. Sometimes at 4 on a Sunday morning. But we have been working very hard on it to make it good for The Wife's birthday and the 4 trick or treaters we might get for Halloween.

So we have been burning the shit out of the weeds and crappiness that has accumulated, but somehow we forgot the side of the yard.

And the damn palm tree.

According to Google Maps sky view we had three to start with. On street view we have two palm trees. By the time we bought it we had one. that was slowly dying. You could tell. We watered it. tried to feed it. and to bring it back...but damn it wouldn't keep.

fuck...

but at this point yesterday I was home from work (meh day at work) I was late and I got this letter. I was in a shitty mood and really really really needed to get to the bachelor party to play video games and play poker and drink copious amounts of (root) beer. But now I snapped.

We went out and started burning a lot. And I saw the damn palm. I felt it and noticed it was kinda soft. So I punched it.

and my hand went INTO it.

what the fuck?

so I pushed it a bit and heard a small crack.

I grabbed hold...

and ripped the fucker in half.

Ripped a bare tree in half with my bare hands.



biggrin
Fuck Yeah.



And then this morning I went to work on it.

There is nothing that makes you feel more manly than chopping down a tree with a fireman's axe.

Doesn't matter that it was a dead palm tree and I was wearing Birkenstocks. I still felt like the goddam Old Spice Guy.



-Doc

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