It's 1:00 in the morning. I'm on my 6th Sammy and it's even better than the 1st. Now I'm not drunk, but I'm not ready for bed and I feel like venting. I know three individuals along with myself that have put countless fucking hours and an ass load of frustration in to learning our craft. Incase your late to the show, the craft I speak of is playing musical instruments to the point of pain. We have all decided that this is the path that we want to choose for our lives. The only missing link is a vocalist worthy of our caliber. I'm convinced all of the "vocalists" that I've met so far are the kids that were too fucking lazy to learn a god damned instrument. If I may quote a previous singer of my band, and I paraphrase because I really don't care enough to remember word for word what he said. But I believe it went something like this, "The songs you guys write are too complicated, I'm just doing this for the pussy." It just so happens that he said this on the same day that we kicked him out of the band. Go figure. Now I understand that singing probably requires more emotion than any other instrument, and yes, your voice is an instrument which therefore requires practice. Muther fucker, I've got the hick ups. Hold on, I'm gonna stand on my head and then drink this beer... Ok, I almost just drowned in my own bedroom and I still have the hick ups. Basically what I'm saying is if you or someone you may know can sing and lives in the southern NH area please, pretty please, tell me. Now that I've said all of this I realize that the only two people that are gonna read it are either in my band or come to my practice every other day( even if it is to take a nap ). But I feel better having vented. Or maybe it's the three beers that I've drank since I started this shit. Could someone please explain to me the point of hick ups. This shit is gonna keep me up all fuckin night.
P.S. Death is an amazing band. Thank you, good night.
P.S. Death is an amazing band. Thank you, good night.
Maybe you should consider drinking with someone else - I hear that's more socially acceptable than doing it all alone....
Moving on!
First - I only fell asleep at practice once!
Second - I think the biggest problem with all the "vocalists" you guys have tried so far is that they all think they're the shit (when they're very obviously not) so they don't think they have to practice, and you guys all stay very humble (even though you fucking rock) and bust your asses 6516874616971 days a week. Also: all the really good singers are already taken.
PS: First, it's hiccups, not 'hick ups.' I think a 'hick up' is the opposite of a 'ho down'...
Second, they're caused by uncontrollable spasms in the diaphragm, usually triggered by something (alcohol? carbonation?) irritating the smooth muscles of the stomach and/or the esophagus. It's your body's reaction to mild early-digestion tract irritation, Son. Next time you have them, get a glass of water, exhale, pinch your nose, and drink until it feels like you're drowning. Then take a deep breath. It makes your diaphragm work by replacing oxygen with carbon dioxide and creating an anarobic condition (and that drowning feeling...) in the spasming diaphragm. By tricking your body into thinking it's drowning, it uses it's oxygen for something other than hiccuping...
Oh, the semi-useless knowledge I posess.